Saturday, 24 June 2017
From Den Haag and Paris with Love: Lessons Learned format
Choose, because, Baby, Only You Can
I was anxious about going back to The Hague. As suspected, I broke down as soon as I walked into the reception area of my hotel. It was at this same reception that I had met my Sholly back then in March 2016 when she had come to visit me. It was also where we had hugged as we got ready to say our goodbyes as, 4 nights and 5 days later, I headed off to catch my flight back to Nigeria and she, her bus back to Poland.
That was the last time I was to see my sister alive and while it still breaks my heart. I am so grateful to God for granting us that time. It took me some time to 'centre' myself by deliberately choosing to 'enjoy' re-living every moment I spent with her. I went to every shop we visited together. I went to every spot in C23 we stood on together and breathed. And smiled. And knew I'd be OK during my course.
As long as I kept making the right choices. And I did.
I chose to enjoy learning. I chose to participate fully. To be present. Afterwards, I chose to meet up with friends when normally I'd just curl up in a ball in my hotel room eating and watching TV. And talk about eating I chose to experience the new! Many things I'd have shunned before, I ate. Mussels! Sushi! Ceviche! I tried them all! Because you only live once! And I want to live my 'once' loudly.
To live loud, the first person you must treat good is you. Because you can't give out of an empty bucket. So, I chose to forget about everything and everyone that sought to steal my peace and focused on treating 'me' good. For me and equally important, in honour of Sholly.
Lesson 1: Daily, we face situations or memories that seek to steal our joie de vivre. We face people that seek to keep us in our past. Beholden to our old selves. No. We must choose to not let them. And making this choice is something that you must do yourself. No one can choose life for you. It's your call. And you don't have to wait for anybody's permission.
To Choose Your 'Now', Letting Go is By Force
I left Nigeria deeply troubled. For reasons separate from Sholly and the dilemma of going or not going to Poland.
I just felt broken-hearted as the scenes of my recent reality played over and over in my head. Being a wife and a mom to young adults can be so crushing sometimes. I cried part of the way; then watched 'Hidden Figures' and 'The Fence' till I got to my destination. Already shared how I got through the first day but do you know what I did to make sure I was not distracted in class?
I chose me. Yep. I packed all the issues, put them in a box, tied a pretty bow over it and tucked it away. You know, like men do. The only time I brought that box out was during any of the Hallelujah Challenges I was able to join. I handed my loved ones over to my PapaGod. You know why? Because I can't come and go and kill myself away!
Lesson 2: I am a mom. True, I have some super powers but still, I'm not God. I am a wife and while it's true that the neck turns the head. Turning the head is sometimes not enough. The head needs a reset. The kind that comes from God. So, I have learned to take deep breathes and leave people to God. Let them make their own relationship beds. Pray over them as they struggle over the sheets and fluff their own pillows. Then step back. Bottom line? Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do for a loved one is entrust them to God.
To be continued❤️
P.S I love these photos and dedicate this blog to these three ladies and all my course co-participants❤️. Thank you all for helping me create new memories.
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