Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Being 49

Salt in Yellow and Blue.
One of my birthday presents.
Thank you Debbie Akindele-Ojo!

First of all, Thank You, to every single person that wished me well, sent me prayers and bought me presents on my birthday. You don't know what you did for me. 

You were all part of a Sholly-led universal conspiracy. It is clear to me. The sad thoughts didn't stand a chance that May 26th morning when my My MGM and the children stormed our bedroom singing 'Happy Birthday' and thrusting cards and a cake in my sleepy face. It just set the tone for the day. I appreciate you all a whole lot and I am confident God will bless you all for me.

I think it was my first born son that asked me first. "So Mommy, how do you feel being 49?"

Honestly, many emotions have coursed through me these past few days but I have to confess that my first emotion was pain. The pain of loss. I feel it. I won't lie. Searing pain that makes me gasp each time it hits me. Three of the four people that made up my family till I was in my twenties have gone home to be with Jesus Christ. Never in my dreams did I foresee this and it hurts. But who does? It's there underneath all of my joyful gratitude. But my joy and my gratitude trump the pain of my loss. I thank God for that. His joy in me is bigger. Glory be to God because I know that can only be the work of God's Spirit working on me.

Gratitude. When I travel back over my life and think about the many blessings, near misses, misses, the highs, the lows and the outright blunders I have experienced and or survived. How, in spite of my many inspitables, God has continued to arrange the lines pleasantly around me, I just lay flat on the ground in gratitude and humble adoration to a God who loves me unconditionally. When I look around at the people that have made up the PeoplePillar around me through the different seasons of my life. I know that, for real, God has truly done me well. 
People sent me so many pictures of yellow roses. I loved that!
I have lived ten more years than my own mother got to live. My Sholly was just 36. I get to see my 49th year. Who am I that God has my time like this? There is nothing in me that makes me better than mom and Sholly. It's just God's Grace. I must appreciate this Grace. This is why I'm determined to let God know that the extra time he's given me will bring him returns. Plenty returns. And I'm determined to prove it to him one day, one action, one person at a time. 


Mindfulness. That's the next thing I'm feeling. More mindful of my time, my thoughts, my actions and most importantly the people I allow into my mind space. Every day, my simple prayer will be: "Papa, please bring only your will my way today. And please give me the discernment to distinguish it from all the noise around me". If the thought comes or the word is spoken or the person acts and my spirit tells me it's not part of God's will for my day? Salt is not home. Mute. Erase. Delete. Blank. Them. Period. 

God is intentional about all he does. I want to be like him. I don't want to wait till I'm 50 to start living my life. I want to begin now. Right this moment. One intentional day at a time. So help me God. 

And Dear One reading this, regardless of your current age, your time to live is NOW too. 

I'm re-reading Omilola Oshikoya's 'The Richer Woman' and along with my Bible and a good Bible Reading Plan, I think I'm in a good place to start living my best, richer 49 year old life now. 


Are you coming with me? 

Let's live Loud. Laugh hard. Let our Love be a verb. And yes, let's be Yellow😊🌻


Remember, from the moment we are born, we begin to die. So, make haste while you've got time. 


This birthday photo got my laughing out loud!
Sholly would have loved this too!



2 comments:

  1. Happy being 49. God would grant u ur desire to live and not jist exist. Much love.
    Ps. Youre alredy making me fall in love with yellow😀

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ever sweet salt mama...intentional living is it o..happy born day again

    ReplyDelete

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