|My Sholly......Oh, how it hurts but it is well because God's got this.|
Tuesday, 31 January 2017
God Has To Be Real
Since the 28th of December, 2016, the last word on my mind when I go to bed and the first when I wake up is: Sholly.
My PapaGod understands, of this I am sure. If he was mad at me, then I guess he could decide not to wake me. So, I think God gets what is going on inside of me. He is, after all, Love itself. He knows what my love for my Sholly is doing to me..... in this season.
He knows that while my first and last thoughts are about my AburoChild, it does not mean I have made her an idol, I know my PapaGod enough and I am so grateful to know that God is real. If God were not real. If his spirit was not really the Comforter. If He was really not being made strong in my weakness, then I would not be sitting hear typing these words. I would be long gone. Even if not physically. Mentally. But because of God, I am not. Because He is real to me, my sorrow is not without Hope.
Still, I hurt so bad.
Do you know what it is to lose a child? That's how I feel. When I was in my second year of Uni in Uyo, I recall having nightmares of my baby sister, then five years old being sad without me; of her being sick and me not being there to take her temperature; of her falling down and me not being their to kiss her booboo better. I was 17/18 and my worst fears were about my Sholly. Of something happening to her and me not being there to help her. That's how much I loved this child. Today, now, all those fears assail me and its odd cos she is no longer here with me.....still fear is mine or shall I say 'was mine' because thank God I have the Word and Pastor Seye Kosoko prayed for me yesterday like he knew what was in my heart. How he saw into my heart and prayed for me so 'on pointly' can only be God.
Yes, God has to be real because as much as I hear all your words of comfort and I truly appreciate them, they don't have the power to keep me still. As much as I hear you, your words are like water off a duck's back. I cannot lie but the awesome thing is that God still uses those your words still in his own way to soothe me. Not by making me hear them but by making me realise how blessed I am to have so many people genuinely looking out and praying for me and my family. By using all these people to hug me. God shows me again that he is real.
And for that I am truly grateful.
Sign our Petition please. By so doing, you will be helping to ensure that my family and I get the answers to our many questions. To understand better, please click here to read up on my currently reality. Thank you and God bless. And may you never, NEVER have to go through what we are going through right now in Jesus Christ's name. .
It is well. Why?
Because my God is real and he's got this.
Blessings on you.
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