Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Compatible Opposites

Compatible Opposites. I came across this term for the very first time yesterday evening. Even saying it sounds odd. How can opposites be compatible, right? I know but do read on and I bet you will have the same ‘aha’ moment I had. It just makes sense and best of all; it is supported by the word of God. 

Dear Sister, the ‘good thing’ waiting to be ‘found’. Dear Brother still looking to find your ‘good thing’. Are you both still wondering why you are still waiting? Permit me to put it to you that perhaps you are still waiting because you are looking for someone that is ‘just like you’. You need to change that mindset because thanks to Jimmy Evans, I now see that when you are dating or courting someone, you actually should be trying to find your compatible opposite

What on earth does that mean?  Let me explain.

Apparently, while we think we should marry someone the most like us, God did not wire us that way. According to Jimmy Evans, God wired you to pursue your opposite, even subconsciously. No wonder I ended up with my MGM! We are so different and many times I have wondered how come we have lasted this long…but now I get it. Yes, we do love ourselves (and by the way, the love has only gotten hotter because it has been refined by fire) but we have lasted because our strength lies in our differences. We complement each other. I cannot lie; this was a light bulb moment for me.

Mgm and Salt: Compatible Opposites lati 1993.
Glory be to God!

And this is what Genesis 2:18 means, when God says of Adam, "I will make him a helper comparable to him." The word "helper" is translated from the word “ezer”. It means "to supply what is lacking." Wow! Can you see? God didn't create another Adam. He created someone to supply what Adam lacked. He made Eve to complete Adam.  God created me, Salt to supply the administrative and organisational skills that my MGM lacks. Ask him today about our children's birthdays or where our passports are or to complete visa application forms online…you are on your own. I am the Executive in charge of all such matters in our home. But then again, my MGM can smell a con a mile off. I am so trusting when it comes to people. So God placed him in my life to protect me from my own naivete. Lol! I could go on but I am sure you get the picture. 

The question then is how come my MGM and I are compatible then if we are different? We are compatible because in marriage, being compatible is not based on being the same. Being compatible is based on having matching beliefs, values, and character. My MGM and I are compatible because we both look to Christ as our Personal Lord and Saviour; we both are trying daily to live and love like Christ and because we both have agreed to always let God have the final say in our lives and marriage. Oh and yes, we both have also agreed not to ‘craze’ at the same time. Lol! Apart from that, with my hand on my chest, I have to say that we are 80 to 85% opposites.

You see, dear Single in waiting, the last thing you need is another version of yourself.  Stop looking for that. You need someone that will complement you. You need someone that will be strong in the places where you are weak. You need someone that will be the yin to your yang.

Yes, you need to find and marry your compatible opposite.

P. S. For those who are already married, I pray this helps us. No need to wonder if you entered one chance. You did not. Understanding this should enable us harness the power of the differences between us and our spouses. Abi? Yes o!

P. S. 1 This is an old photo but one of my favourites.....and even in our dressing we are demonstrating how compatibly opposite we are. Red is the opposite of white is it not? Lol! 


  1. Red and white, trad and formal. Lol. Compatible opposites! Thanks for sharing this insight ma.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to come here, read and leave a comment Dharmielorlah.

  2. Replies
    1. Thanks Eketi. I appreciate your coming by and taking the time to leave a comment.

  3. Inspiring write-up, it's a great reminder. I remember this picture so well! Book-signing at Laterna. See how time flies? Keep up the good work Sis.

    1. Motola!!!! Abi, you were there live and direct. Thanks dear.

  4. I love this! Every single person should read this- being compatible-opposites spices up the marriage/relationship. This has also made me laugh. When I play the kind of music I love to listen to my hubby rolls his eyes and teases me about it and when he plays his I tell him that I'm heaven we won't be listening to his own brand. We are different but compatible. Lovely write up sis ������������

    1. Lol! Too funny!
      Yes, our differences should add to us, not deplete. God help o!!!
      Thank you for coming by. Truly appreciate you!

  5. Lovely article. Just reminds me of my hubby and myself. Compatible opposites. God really has an awesome sense of humor.

  6. Zainab Mojisola Adeojo6 May 2018 at 10:33

    Wow, I'm getting to understand somethings in my marriage after reading your article compatible opposite. Thanks for this write up.


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