Tuesday, 24 May 2016
I struggled with the title of this post. It's not capturing what I have in my heart. But I'll not stress it. I'll just hope that the post itself will clarify my meaning. Someone died over the weekend. The first thing that hit me after the shock was the regret. Let me explain.
I think I ran in to him a week and half ago in the elevator lobby. I think. It's that 'thinking', that's what I regret. If I'm not sure then I was probably just standing there mindlessly lost in thought unaware of the LIFE going on around me. Looking but not really seeing. I regretted not being fully engaged in that 'now' of my life. If I was, maybe I would have said more than an empty 'hello '. Maybe I would have asked how he was? Bantered some elevator chit chat to and fro. And maybe then I would be sure it was him I saw.
But I didn't because I did not know that would be the last time I was to see him (assuming it was even him *sigh*). This is what we do people. We are living 'asleep'. Walking around robotically...not fully aware. Not fully engaged. I guess it's because we think we'd have a 'next time'.
When was the last time you were in the moment with a loved one? I mean really in the moment? Think about the people you work with, live with, go to church with. What's your last memory of them? The ones you really care about at least. What did they say to you? What did you say to them? What color were they wearing?
It's a bit frustrating cos I still don't think I'm communicating. Holy Spirit help!
Mindfulness! That's the word I'm looking for! Thank you Lord! Yes, people I'm asking us to practice Mindfulness as we go about our daily lives. Especially in our day to day connections with people. I want to do this. If I meet you I want to be in the moment as best I can. I want to be able to remember what you said, what you did, what you wore. The last look on your face.
Most especially I want to remember if it was you I saw or not.
at May 24, 2016
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