Monday, 9 November 2015
She is the 'evil' friend.
I looked at her as she spoke and the only reason I didn't laugh was because I saw her pain.
She reminded me of me some twenty odd years ago. Quite foolish. Nice? Yes. Foolish? Double Yes.
Anyway, here is a summary of what I told her when she was done telling me her story. I counsel young wives because I'm passionate about marriages. Why? Because thrice now, the devil has tried to steal mine. Thrice, God has won. I demonstrate my continual appreciation to Him by doing my best to make sure the devil doesn't steal anybody's marriage.
1. I don't care how much you make fun of your spouse, your bestie is not allowed to repeat what you say. But by the way, why are you insulting your spouse to the hearing of your friends?
2. Be that as it may, any friend of yours who insults or makes fun of your spouse to your face does not respect you. Talk less of respecting your Spouse. Call me crazy, but such a person is not a friend.
3. Your handling of such friends need not be ratchet. I know of few things more shameful than a woman fighting another woman over a man. Again, call me crazy but the person to fight is your husband but that's another blog for another day. Today, we are talking about your rude friend. The one who thinks s/he can say nasty things about or behave anyhow around your spouse. For fun. Listen to me: There is no such thing. Even if there is. Even if it's funny. Don't allow it. Period. If you tell you friend to stop and s/he does not stop. Unfriend him/her. Online and in real life. Even if you were in crèche together. Clearly familiarity is breeding contempt.
4. A true friend, and I have a few, would treat your spouse with the utmost respect regardless of what you have or have not shared with her/him. Personally, I'm not a sharer. I have a few people i go to for counseling but to be honest, the years have taught me that God is the best confidante. Especially about personal stuff. Most especially about marriage stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's the healthiest thing but that's me. I'm happy to listen to you if you need a listening ear. And I'm happy to counsel you and pray with you. And unlike most, I will not see your spouse tomorrow and suck my teeth at him. Never.
I looked at her as I rounded up and could still see the conflict in her eyes. I was sad but grateful I had a God to entrust her to. I had spoken. But the Holy Spirit had to seal the deal. She was such a sweetheart. But a sweetheart with an evil friend. As she drove away, I stood there waving....
Praying to God that I would never be the 'evil friend'.
As I end this blog, I'm hoping you are not either.
P.S. This blog is with her permission. Just sayin.
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