Monday, 11 May 2015

Dear Mom and Prof.

Dear Mom and Prof,

I told myself I was not going to be sad today. I even told Mrs. Gaska, your baby daughter the same thing. I guess I was wrong. I am sad. I want to take a selfie with my own mom. I want to take photos of both of you with your grand-kids. I just want to be able to call you, you know?  *sigh*.   The little things we wish for when we cannot have them....but when we can, we take for granted. How foolish the living can be sometimes.

How are you anyway Mom? I know I said the dead cannot read nor can they hear but that does not seem to stop us living people from making ourselves feel better by talking to our dead and writing them letters. It's been a while since I wrote you a letter. Do you miss me or have you been spending your time tut-tut-tutting every time I did something that a ''daughter of Monisola'' should not be doing? *smiling* I bet you have rolled your eyes more than a zillion times since the 11th of May 1986. Yes, I got so many things wrong. Still do but I am willing to bet you are still proud of me? Of us? We, your three kids made it. We are still making it. Thank you for watching over us. Yesterday was Mother's Day in the United States. And I thought about you. It was funny though cos I thought about you but I missed Dad. Not sure how come but maybe it's because you've been gone longer and he just left on January 26, 2014.

Dad, my Prof. I was at a wedding today. Yes, they are having Sunday weddings these days. When they asked who was giving the bride away and her father figure answered ' I do' , tears filled my eyes. Right then I could hear your voice clearly as you answered the same question 22 years ago. Aniekan thought I was such a wuss crying at weddings. *smiling*. Oh, Prof! I miss you so bad. It still hurts so acutely. Even as I type these words, my eyes sting and tears well up again. I know it's Mother's Day and while I think about mom, it's you I'm missing. Your laughter, your calls and sms messages. I still have all the ones you sent me and sometimes I scroll through and read them just to feel close to you.

When I think of you both, this is what I see.
Both of you, young, smiling, happy and free.
Mom? Dad? I had made up my mind not to be sad today but I guess I am failing that exam. But  I am not sad for you. You are both in a good place so why should I continue to mourn over you? Like Shola said as we spoke yesterday, we ought to be glad, we have three extra guardian angels - both of you and Uncle Joe - watching over us. We are good. Plus, we have so many great memories of our time with you. We recycle those in our hearts and as we do, you continue to live because loving memories trump death every time.

My prayer is that someone will read my letter to you and go out there and create memories with their own parents and other loved ones.  Living folk don't seem to understand one vital truth until it is too late. If you love someone, as in really love someone, you do all you can to let that person know it. It will not always be rational. It will not always be a big thing. Many times, it does not even cost money. All that matters is that the object of your love experiences your action and the message it translates into in his or her brain is simple: I matter.

Mom? It's been 29 years and you still matter.
My Papa, My Prof? One year like yesterday.  We could not hold a memorial service for you but I know you understand and truth is I hold one in my heart almost every day. Because you matter. You both, always will.

It's me, 

Bola.

8 comments:

  1. This is not fair, you made me cry. Ha! Salt. Its well.Loads of hugs! Sista Bola.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Nammie. It's been one of those years...the ones where I cry....a lot. But I know it is well.

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  2. What a tribute. It is well, sis!

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  3. Sober moment. Thanks for the 2nd to the last paragraph. Lesson to be applied in our daily lives. Thanks Salt

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Dear SuperSoulLifter! Make memories! Take loads of photos! Today I wept cos I couldn't find any picture of me and my mom where I wasn't I child! I knew I had one of the both so us at my Matric but I couldn't find it! It hurt!!!

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  4. My Sista! I love you!! You break it down...no fuss...No frills. Simple...engaging. While my parents are still here. It's time to write them another tribute ..yes while they're alive. Love you Sis for being you...Salt

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  5. Bola... Thank you for this. My heart aches for you but I also thank God for you. It is a gift to have memories. Many were too young to have even that. And thanks for the reawakening. Time is so precious isn't it? Bless you sis

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Gracias!
Salt.

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