Thursday, 28 May 2015
This post has had different titles since I began writing it in my head two days ago.
"The Best Birthday ever...and The Worst"
"People are Dying but I get One More Year. Why?"
" Happy Birthday to Me"
This morning, I decided to just go with what you see up there: 47.
It's simple. It's my new age. It became mine on May 26, 2015 because God has seen fit to sustain my life for four decades and seven years. I truly am amazed because I can confidently say I never thought I'd see my 40s. So, two days ago, I was and still am truly grateful. But on that day, two days ago, I was truly miserable too. Why? For three reasons and I will share two.
First of all, PapaGod? You know I love you and I know you see my heart and in it, you see my profound gratitude for all you have done for me. But I'm also comfortable expressing my honest feelings about things to your hearing because you prefer honest relationships. You derive no joy from my being stoic about my pain to the point of hiding them from you (as if that was even possible). Why would you give me a Comforter, if I had no pain to be comforted through? Anyway, so nothing I say here negates my absolute confidence in you and your love for me. Just wanted that to be clear. Eh- hen!
So why my birthday misery? One, a colleague died. Since then another one has died. One was 41, the other 35. I wept when I heard about the first one. Because I knew this person. So nice. So encouraging. So considerate. But I guess Death has no time for such things. I wept for the children and family left behind. I wept in appreciation of my life; I get to remain. I get to keep living. I was miserable. I was grateful. I was sober.
Two and this one you may not fully understand. It's pretty old fashioned of me and not sure why it got to me this year but I missed getting real proper birthday cards. I love greeting cards. Always have. For years I kept past birthday cards and success cards even from as far back as my secondary schools days. I loved being able to go read them later on. Words mean a lot to me.
Alas, thanks to technology (which I appreciate) I got hundreds messages and posts which I truly truly appreciate too but the little old fashioned girl in me would have still loved some a "few-trees-had-to-be-cut-down-to-produce-them" cards. And I did get one. It was from dear trusty Oga Oye. He never misses. He is a great guy that helps me out at work. God bless him.
But you know after I wallowed around in my pity puddle for a while, I remembered my dead colleague. I bet he's not yearning for anybody to send him a card. A slice of Life would do. As I type this, I have that slice. So who cares about paper cards. I brag on God for the lovely messages I got. They all touched me but some truly got me doing my ugly cry. I was, to be frank, overwhelmed. Till today, I'm still getting birthday messages. I took each one as a hug from my PapaGod.
I wonder if I'd get as many people at my funeral as I got birthday wishes? Makes you think eh? I'm not foolish enough to think so. Would be nice but medoubts it. Facebook friends are easy to have. My prayer is that those with whom I have genuine connection will always be around. You know, thanks to divine discernment, I am able to differentiate the true hearts from the fake hearts. I honestly can. It was a special prayer point because I'm such a gullible somebody. I needed to pray for spiritual x-Ray eyes. You need to pray for same too because there are some really icky people out there. Sheesh! What a train of thought for a birthday post! Kai! Let's move on to more high-five gist jo! Abi?
Well, Hi five me! I get to be 8 years older than my mom ever got to be! Glory to God!
Hi five me! I'm alive and well! My family is alive and well! I may not be rich but I'm wealthy.
Hi five me! I just got to see my first child graduate! Mom never got the chance!
Hi five me! I am here right now very aware of how much God wins in my life every day.
This singular truth is just a gift that keeps on giving. I may not have opened many shiny presents two days ago.....but that's OK.
I got Jesus Christ. My very own special gift from a God who loves me with no hidden agenda. That's why a sad birthday can still be such a happy one.
That's why I refuse failure. That's why life is beautiful.
47 Igbosas to my King!
P. S. If you read this whole post till the end, I'm certain I don't have to cajole you to go on your knees now and thank God for your life. He is worthy of our constant gratitude. Every intake of oxygen. Every exhale of carbon dioxide is a gift from God. Appreciate it.
P. S 2. Thank you to all the Secret Service agents that went out of their way to "retrieve' photos to use in their messages. I've used some of them in this. Not just because I like myself (which I do. Lol! ) But to thank each and every one of you 00 Sistas for your James Bond moves! Now this blog is like a giant birthday card to myself! Lol! Ok, not really....
at May 28, 2015
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