Saturday, 24 January 2015

Five Things I Wish I Knew Back Then When We Were Twenty-Something.

Boy, would I have saved my pretty young head a whole lot of anxieties and my dear MGM a whole load of nagging! Lol! 

Seriously though , ever since my MGM turned Golden I've been doing a lot of traveling back down our memory lane. I just have to thank God for our lives because there is no controversy. It is God that has kept us. I was so foolish. He was so young. Too young maybe. I was 24 and he was 27. And as much as we were in love and had great plans for our future, we also drove each other mad! Lol!  Here are the five things I wish I had known back then about him, marriage and life:

                                        

1. The crazy, break-neck speed at which your young husband drives today? You shall see no more once he hits mid-40s. Yes, the so called 'defensive' driving skills he bragged about then that nearly made you hypertensive will lose all appeal and incredible but true, you will hear him say the words "Where is he flying to?' as some young guy zaps by your car at the speed of lightning on your way back from church. Lol! So, all I should have concentrated on was prayer for a long enough life! Thankfully, I must have done so in the midst of all the nagging and yelling and threatening not to wear my seat belt so 'you can just kill me now with your speeding' rants. Lol! 

2. You will never be his sister or his mom. Don't even try. Just be you. The one he chose to marry. Ugh! I'm ashamed about how much time I spent praying to have the same bond he had with Nana and Audrey! Who does that? Me, apparently. The foolish wife. The man has put a ring on your finger, choosing you above every other woman he has met thus far and what do you want? You want him to compliment you the way he does his sister! You want him to eat your food the same way he eats his mother's! Today, I love it when he connects with them because now I  realise it was never about me. It takes nothing away from us. In fact it adds to the quality of our family bond. Now, I pray for my FBS to feel the same about his sister and me of course! Lol! And for God to give him a wife that will not get it twisted. 

3. You really don't have to know every single itsy bitsy thought going on his head. Goodness! How I wanted this! It's crazy really but I thought because I gave him a reel by reel account of my day, he had to reciprocate. Mostly, all I got was one of these words: 'tough, busy, hard day'  followed by  what am I eating and zzzzzzzzz.....lol! Sometimes, he fell asleep while eating! Today, you know what? It really doesn't matter to me how his day went. Have I stopped caring? Is sharing and communication no longer important? No and no! I still care and sharing and communicating are still important. It's just that the fact that he survived the day, did what he could and is back home safe and sound is a tad more important to me now. And truth is, I mostly get to know stuff I need to know anyway....

4. This thing you are calling jealousy is actually a sign that he cares deeply for you. Honestly? I actually think we were both jealous somebodis back then. It just manifested differently. Today, though, by God's grace, I've come to understand that, in a good man doing his best now to know and please God, what appears to be the green eyed monster is more a fierce desire to protect what's yours from the evil out there in the world. Yes, roll your eyes if you like but that's my super true story and I'm sticking to it. Lol! But seriously, my MGM is my knight in shining armour and his eyes are not green. Does it still irk me sometimes that he tries to 'baby me?'. Yes....but. In my quiet moments it makes me feel blessed. Call me a sap. I can live with that. Lol!

5.  God will arrest your husband in his own good time. Just pray for mercy over his life and stop trying to nag holiness into him! Chei! This is one for all young Christian wives. It's clear that we women come into spiritual maturity faster than our husbands mostly....plus there are some biblical principles that their sharp, intelligent minds will never grasp by your grammar. Just be the wife God has called you to be and leave God to use his spirit on your hubby. Better than any jazz out there. Lol! If I could see my husband back then as he is today spiritually? I would have taken a chill pill. Instead of losing sleep over my 'heathen husband'. Lol! 

Ah.......so funny. I totally enjoyed doing this blog because it gingers my gratitude levels no end. We have really come a long way, my MGM and I. And I firmly believe our Greater is just round the corner.  It's my prayer that something you read has blessed you too. Even if it just made you smile....am missing my Papa so much in the run up to his one year anniversary and all of this just helps me a whole lot to stay in a place of thanksgiving. 

PapaGod, thank you so much. I hide my testimony in your Secret Place where no evil eye can see it. Bless the reader who is praying this right now. Fill their hearts with gratitude like never before. Breath your uncreated life into them right now to empower them to live their best lives now! Help all of us to be most satisfied in you...so that you can be most glorified in our lives. In Jesus name. Amen! 

Shalom! 



20 comments:

  1. Bimbo!! Oh ok Salt, ,lol. I am so encouraged by this piece. You know I was just reminiscing with my hubby about old times too. Is it my nagging,,my anger at the slightest provocation or not talking to him for some days, , Chei God has helped me o. I love, pamper and respect my own Good man more than ever before. Thank you once again. I love your sense of humour in all of this. God bless you
    Cynthia

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    1. I tell you Cynthia.....same here....same here. Thank God for holding it together for us to come to a place where we can not only look back and laugh but now appreciate a God for keeping our marriages. There is nothing special about us...It's God's mercies we enjoy.

      But this is why it's key to be sure you marry right. Cos even with the right person it's not easy but with God, nothing will put it asunder...nothing!

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  2. So spot on sis. Loved reading this as much as you must have loved writing it. Congratulations again darling..A sure word in due season for every wife and wife-to-be out there

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  3. Thank you for sharing. This made my day....I want more!!!

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  4. As a young wife myself *winks* I can so relate to this. Number one hits home fa! Driving with my hubby is like an episode on fast and furious. I quit complaining and just grind my teeth. Lol. Its so nice seeing this though your eyes. Helpful post this is!

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  5. @Audrey: Thanks Sis! Always a blessing when you come by....

    @Ogodesh: Lol! Are you in my head...so many other things keep tumbling over in my head but see how long this post is already! Lol!

    @Remi: Grit your teeth and pray!! Lol! I'm so grateful you find it helpful. Thanks for taking the time to comment. All, three of you, thank you!!

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  6. Looove this!!! Chai this is going to help us oh... so we are not fussing over the things that don't matter.

    Thank you for sharing, loved and loving it!! Please post more x_x

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    1. Arike, please don't lose sleep over any of the above.....once you have your mighty good 'Boaz' be a wife after God's heart and let God be God in your marriage. Trust me a little....all these 'juvenile' stuff will pass......

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    2. More? Lol! Ok, let's see how God's spirit moves me.....

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  7. Oh so glad to read this today. Gave me a much needed dose of laughter. The last few days has been a struggle trying to get Spirit, soul and body to align with the Word of God. Thought about you this morning as I did on the 26th (knew in my heart that you were sandwiched in God's mighty hands).

    So I read this and I laughed, really laughed. Hmmmm!!! That surely upped my praise. I concluded a long time ago, that I'm yet to see the woman that changed her husband with nagging. Learnt the hard way that it is only on your knees that you can make a different because staying there will affect your attitude and ultimately your mouth!!!

    Believe it or not, he is the slow and steady gets you there safely. I was the fast and furious. You can't even begin to imagine how much stress we gave ourselves over different driving styles. A word is good for the wise.

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    1. I am so happy you are laughing! I can relate because it has also been a struggle for me somewhat to keep my sorrow at bay as my Papa's anniversary drew close and then arrived. But we must not continue to anchor our joy in our God and nothing else really.

      Thank you for thinking about me. I am touched by that. You can say that again about nagging! It fails always. I always say a wise woman knows how to 'stoop to conquer'. You know? As you stop, God can reach over you and touch the man and bring about change that HE knows he needs. When we huff and puff and nag and 'grandSTAND, we block God's view and he cannot see our husbands.....

      What!!!! You drive fast!!! Oh...wow! Lol! Anyway, true I have some friends that drive like men too. I fear una o! Thank you so much for coming by. I loved reading your loooong comment. These are my favorites. Lol!

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  8. Loved reading this! I hope to look back in years to come and see how different things will be then. God bless you Salt.

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    1. Thank you Clarion....trust me, you will so much to share. Since I wrote this, so many other things have come to my mind! Lol! I appreciate your coming by. Bless you.

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  9. Ohhhhhh, Aunty Salt...
    God helping me, I surely won't repeat these in my time soon to come.lol.

    A reoccurring lesson here is to pray..pray..pray and pray hard. Nagging does nothing..i've learned that from my parents marriage too but I guess when we are in it, things may go awry.
    May God grant me grace to win battles on my kness and not waste my saliva.lol

    And God's glory will continue to shine on you both...you will continually be great and godly mentors to us young folks.

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    1. You shall not o! By the grace of God! It's good to learn from your mistakes but true wisdom is learning from the errors of others. Yes, prayer is your power!

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    2. And a resounding Amen to your prayers! Thank you dearie!

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  10. Many thanks for sharing these lessons, Auntie Bola. Even though I am a guy, this blog also blessed me loads.

    Just wondering, can your Hubby write his own version and you share with us?

    Thank you Ma.

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    1. I'm so happy to hear that Arise. . I will ask him. Lol! Let's see.

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