Saturday, 20 December 2014
All You Can Do Is Live Right Unto God.
You mess up a task at work. Everyone makes a mistake once in a while. But your Supervisor just won't let it go. Everything you do is 'tainted' by that Incident. Come year end appraisal time, no matter how well you delivered on your other tasks, all your Supervisor wants to talk about is the 'incident'. It's called the 'horns effect'. When one bad thing clouds all other good things. Now, does this one incident make you a bad employee? A poor performer? No. It just means you have a bad Supervisor.
Your child tells a lie for the very first time. You are distraught. You discipline your child and explain the consequences of lying. You explain how God sees liars, the faithless and cowards in the same light as murderers (I was shocked too but just saw this in Revelations the other day). Child says sorry and promises to never lie again. You pray with child, s/he repents, you kiss and make up. Child never lies again but you, dear parent can't help second guessing every word that comes out of his/her mouth. Even though when checked you find only truth. Who has the problem here? Of course. You. The parent. You are unable to trust your child even though s/he gives you no reason to doubt.
Your spouse falls and falls badly. You choose to forgive him/her. You didn't have to. You could have ended the marriage and as some say, it would have been biblical being as it was adultery. But you did not. You chose to forgive. Forgetting is harder but in forgiving one assumes that you want to forget to. Like God would. Like God does. The fallen spouse knows this second chance cannot be messed with and commits to doing all to gain the lost trust knowing that it would probably take a life time. But you won't give it. Not even a little. You choose to distrust every move, every word, every thing. You refuse to live above the trust line. But while it breaks your spouses's heart, s/he maintains peace because s/he is not the one with the problem. You are. The fallen spouse's love is big enough to absorb what most would not in the name of 'showing sorrow and doing restitution' but your love, dear spouse that was hurt is not. Your love is not big enough to live above the trust line. What does that even mean? It means if your spouse tells you A. You believe it is A UNTIL you have concrete evidence that it is Z.
To the employee with the bad Supervisor to the child with the parent that won't believe to the Spouse whose spouse refuses to stop living in the past, here's my advice to you:
Just live right as unto your God. Dear employee, keep doing your work excellently well unto God, dear child, mommy/daddy loves you. Ok? You just be sure that only truth comes out of your mouth, dear spouse, it is well. Building that trust is a lifetime matter. Just ensure your hands and heart are clean always. That's all you can do. You can't make anyone believe what they don't want to. As much as you love them, they are not your God. And God alone is your judge. More importantly? Don't let them make you feel bad about yourself because you fell. It's in your past and you don't live there anymore.
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