Sunday, 30 November 2014

Quite The Contrary, The Marriage Road Has Been Rough.

Yes, that's my truth and I'm not shy to say it here. I said the same words to a sweet lady who could not imagine my life being rough in any way. I had to hold myself back from laughing cos she was so serious. If only she knew. It's that chat that has inspired this blog and I believe her calling me was God inspired because it ties in somehow with my last blog (the lady had not read the blog and just contacted me out of the blues having read my book 'True Confessions') 

My marriage road has been rough but it's also been great and the more I am, by God's grace, learning to be a wife 'God's way', the better it's getting. Yes, 21 years and still learning but to stop learning is to stop living, right?. See, your marriage will not work if you do things the world's way or common sense's way or society's way or your twin sister's way. Marriage is God's creation. Only His way will work for you!

And can I share an open secret with you? Any marriage you see standing today. Any couple you see living in peace today. Any home you see remaining intact today. Somebody has paid/ is 'paying the price'. The hope is that the price lines up with God's Word**. Then the reward is sure. I'm very passionate about a number of things but the two at the top of my list right now are children and marriages. When the devil can't kill a marriage he then targets the offspring of the union. I believe every mother probably burns with the same passion. My zeal for marriages however comes from a very deep place in me. Let me explain. 

Twice, the devil went out of its way to kill mine. I'm not talking small small quarrel. No, both times were major major messes! I'm talking divorce knocking at the door issues. I look at my today and it's very clear to me what the real target of the enemy was. It wasn't simply about scattering a marriage. It was about destroying glorious futures. Glory be to my Most High PapaGod! He thwarted the plans of the enemy. So when you see me supporting people like Modupe Ehirim and her 2015 Valentine's Day plans for Singles, you know it is not a game for me. I have a voice and I am using it to tell the devil: No, you shall not destroy my children or any child I know! You shall not destroy any marriage, existing or to come that I know! Whatever I can do, no matter how little, I will do. All to the glory of my God!

So like I assured my young sista, please never think my life is all champagne and roses. I love my life but it's not that. True, my MGM and I are more committed to the course than ever but like many others we are still standing because we chose (and  continue to choose) to let God have the final say at various cross- roads of our lives. We have chosen to do marriage by following what Chip Ingram calls 'God's Design and Prescriptions'.

Do we still have struggles? Yes! But we imitate God. We forgive. We are kind. We sacrificially put each others needs first. Is it always easy? No!  But God continues to help us. It is very hard and it is very good. The reward, legacy and blessings add up to intimacy and joy....children are secure, safe and confident in spite of the normal family struggles and challenges that still creep up sometimes.....

Honestly, connect with Modupe today and get a copy of this book, Sex, Love and Lasting Relationships. Be ye single, be ye married, this book will bless ye tremendously. I am having such a blast discovering many truths  that God showed me himself being expounded upon by Mr. Ingram. While I wish I did not have to learn the hard way as I keep saying, I feel validated somehow because when I try to share these things with young women sometimes, I can see them trying very hard not to laugh in my face. Lol!

Single? Then don't just get the book, get set to be  part of the Reading Programme, Modupe will be launching in January 2015 to help you get the most out of the book. More details on that to come in the coming week.

For now, do have a great week ahead and remember, God is especially fond of you!

** Can I just state here that I categorically refuse to support anyone that thinks that remaining in a marriage where physical abuse is the order of the day or were life is at risk is also 'paying the price'. Lailai! God forbid! There is no place in my Bible where beating a wife is an expression of Christ-like love. Just sayin' to be clear!, Eh-hen! In cases like this, best to flee to a safe place...where you can pray. Do not remain there and be praying o!!!!!


  1. Hi Aunty,
    Thanks for these words.
    I'm newly married and it's bn quite tough, so tough that I've bn wondering if this was a huge mistake. I've bn praying about it albeit in accordance with my feelings. Your words that a marriage won't work if we do it common sense's way is just what I needed to hear. I know tarrying in the place of prayer is what I need, I just well never tarry. I'm going to so just that henceforth. I want the joyful many more years. I'll pray for God's will.
    Thanks aunty.

    1. My dear, thank you for sharing. How I wish you would inbox me your address, I will personally make sure you get this book. Please go to your Father and your God. He is waiting to help you. I'm confident you and Him can sort this out.

      Will you inbox me? Please?

    2. Look at me! Inbox me yet I give no address! Lol!

  2. Great read,this is what we all need. Marriage is simply a platform for God or nothing else. We can't do it on our own,and simply not with the way of world. Marriage is another word for saying selfless. Not an easy one but it's do able with Grace sufficient for us. Thanks for the boost.

    1. 'marriage is another word for saying' selfless'.
      So, so true. Thank you Angela for coming by and taking the time to drop a comment.

  3. Awesome read, indeed. I am truly inspired by this piece. We must never forget that, marriage is a union of two imperfect human beings, therefore patience is key for it to flourish, of course with the help of Almighty God. Abundant blessings, sis.


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