Thursday, 23 October 2014

You Are ‘The Solution’ So Why Are You Crying?

( Mo'Omorege , as promised, below is the blog I told you about. I wrote this in November 2011 and believe it is in the 2011 Diary. I really pray that it will clear up some things for any wonderful woman out there still waiting on God for her husband).

You are the 'Solution' to your
'Future' Husband's 'Problems'
No more tears please.
On Saturday, I was at a meeting of excellent women. A young lady asked me a question I have been asked many times by many ladies in many different ways. But this lady trembled as she tried to articulate her thoughts. I could feel her anguish. She was trying hard not to cry on the outside. But I could tell she was weeping on the inside. And it broke my heart. What was wrong with this sweet looking lady?

She is under pressure (self-imposed and from third parties) to marry. She believes time is passing and her biological clock is tick-tocking away very loud and very fast. In short, she believes she is or has a problem. I say no way! I say these her beliefs are lies from the pit of hell. In fact, I will go further and say that as a child of God, as a woman of God, if you are not married and are beginning to think these same thoughts, I would really have to ask you which 'god' you call Papa cos it surely cannot be mine. Your ‘god’ seems small to me if it’s a husband that he cannot give you! No my God is bigger than time and clocks, biological or otherwise! Come on, He controls time! Did he not keep the sun in the skies for Joshua? He is not bound by natural laws as he does as he pleases. You and I know that he is the one that gives and sustains life in us and I know that age or biological clocks don't bug him one bit. Yes o! My God is not concerned with the laws of nature and really, neither should we. Well, unless we do not believe God is who he says he is.

Anyway, my young lady wanted to know what to do. She was praying but nothing seemed to be happening. I answered her as best as I could with God’s help at that meeting. But since then, he has put more in my heart on this matter. I want to share it with all you my dear sisters in waiting. To make it easier I shall use headers for each point I want to bring to your attention.

‘God Spoke To Your Substance’
When I heard my Pastor say this in church on Sunday, I almost fainted from the pleasure it gave me. See, even before you began to form into a baby in your mother’s womb, when you were just cells splitting, when you were just ‘substance’ God had already begun to speak into you and the things he spoke into you are for JUST you. Your Life, Your Timing, Your Path, Yours! Yours! Yours! He is not a confused God. He knew exactly what he wanted for you and he spoke only those things. Do NOT try to live your life by what he spoke into some other persons’ substance! In other words: stay in your own lane and stop timing your life based on another woman’s clock. Trust your God and His timing for you. You will marry when God knows that you are good and ready for it according to what he spoke into your substance.

God Loves You Too Much
But you must know that God loves you too much to give you something that will ruin you. So even if he has spoken marriage into your substance but he sees that, regardless of what you think, you are not emotionally ready to handle what being married entails, he will delay it. Sometimes, we are so busy wanting to marry, we do not realize that we are currently not marriage material at all. I can tell you for free that I was not marriage material when I got married and it almost cost me my marriage and my sanity. How come I managed to get married then? Did God not love me enough to stop me? Or prevent me? I am sure he did, but who told you I asked God if I should get married then or not? Truthfully, it never even occurred to me to take my plans to Him. And as sure as night follows day, I paid the price and am only still here nicely married because of God’s mercies. So check yourself my dear. Are you ready for marriage? Really? I did not ask if you are ready for the wedding. That is just one day? I did not ask if you are ready to wear a nice wedding dress. I mean, are you ready to tie the wrapper of plenty 'suru' round your waist? Are you ready for the kind of sacrificial, suffer- for- a- long- time love that marriage demands sometimes? Hmmmm?

My Sista, Love Get Levels Oh!
So, Ok maybe you already have someone in the horizon and you think you love him and want him to propose. Nice. I am happy for you but again are you sure you ‘love LOVE ‘him? Personally I have come to realize that there are levels of love and if you do not have the required layers of love wrapped around your heart for this man, your heart will be broken like an egg come the slightest knock. The love that covers a multitude of sin is not that flimsy Mills and Boon kind of love oh! No, like I have said before, your love has got to go deeper than that. And true, it takes time for deep love BUT then again we must go into marriage committed to stay in it long enough for your love to grow deep. Perhaps God can see that you are one of those that are like 'Ah, I beg when I marry, if it does not go as I want, I am outta there like that!' Ehn? Then why should he let you do that to his sacred covenant? Rubbish it like that

Submission is the Name of The Game
Check yourself and ask if you are really prepared to play the 'submission' ball. I think the daunting thing here is that the Bible does not say submit to your husband only if he is loving you or when it is makes sense to you. How close are you walking with God now? You need to be so 'tight' with God so that when you need discernment and wisdom to handle some of those ‘confusing’ submission matters, you will hear sharp sharp! For example, your husband wants to go to club and wants you to come with him. Your Christian heart balks at the thought? What do you do? I am not telling you o! Go and ask your God? What? You cannot hear him? Awwwgh! See yourself outside! God is keeping you from entering into marriage foolishly and you think he is not answering your prayers; that he does not love you. My dear, He does and it is that love that will not let him watch you go into something he knows you are not ready for. Trust me, I have lost so many matches in the game of submission that I can tell you for free again that losing sucks. And I lost at times when I could not hear God clearly. Can you?

You Are the Solution
So please tell me, why on earth are you crying? I wish I could reproduce here the sermon my Pastor Seye Kosoko gave once at a wedding in my church. You see, he broke it down well for the bride and groom and all of us who were guests that day. You see, it is the man that has a ‘challenge’ not you. It was Adam that God created and said it was not ‘good’ for him to be alone. Adam had the problem. Eve was the solution to that problem. You, my love are the solution to one man’s problem and you are busy going around crying! It is the poor guy out there, alone, and blind to his true predicament that should be crying. But the enemy has so warped the man’s thinking and he believes he is ‘enjoying’ life meanwhile he cannot really come into his full destiny as Man until his ‘Help’ comes. And you are that help. So I ask again, why are you crying?

You Are Complete All By Yourself
Instead of going around like a broken toy waiting for some man to come fix, you should be walking tall and confident in the knowledge that you are the God appointed solution for some man out there. We just need to pray for his eyes to open so he can ‘see’ you and recognize that you are indeed the solution to his inherent challenge. I hope this helps someone so that she can stop killing herself and stop allowing people put undue pressure on her. It is NOT your job to find a husband. Your job is to prepare yourself to be a Helpmeet for your future husband. You are complete all by yourself. There is no man out there that can ‘add’ anything to your God-created self. No, when you marry, you are the one that is doing the ‘completing’. So enough crying please.

Final Word
So what to do now? Simple. Live and Enjoy your life as you wait BUT make up your mind that you will be an awesome solution (and not a half-baked one) when that time comes. Turn yourself over to God and ask him to prune and polish you so you can get to that place where he will see that you are ready for your husband to find you. Take your mind off the matter. Ask God to help you focus more on him right now and stop making your desire to marry your ‘god’. If God sees that you are only clinging to him because you want him to give you a husband, I do not think he will be very happy. Remember, God is a jealous God. If now, you are doing ‘oju aiye’ for him what will happen when you finally marry.

I do not know it all and I doubt I ever will but I have spoken from my heart based on what I believe. I hope it helps someone out there so that she can stop.......crying.



  1. Testing this comment box! Why are you bouncing people's posts? Be careful o! Lol!

  2. Salt Testing as 'Not Salt. Lol! Too funny. So let's see if I can post now.

  3. Hmmmm.....I am so blessed. No more crying for me because I am the solution!

  4. AH!! This blessed me tres much!!!

    I am a solution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Anonymous. Yes, you are! No more crying!

    Arike, Je suis tres contente d'entendre ca! Yes, YOU ARE!


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