Saturday, 5 July 2014
Resentment is a powerful negative emotion characterized by a feeling of being treated unfairly. I feel this way sometimes. This past week, I have felt this way a lot. It's not healthy at all. Just like its identical twin, bitterness, I am pretty sure resentment can mess with one's physical health. The whole point of my stay at the Mart Life Detox clinic was to rid myself of all such toxic physical and emotional waste but the devil just could not wait to re-introduce its venom into my being. But, the devil will not win because I won't stop fighting.
I have read so many inspirational and/motivational quotes about how we should not let other people control the way we feel about ourselves but to be honest that is easier said than done. Especially when the 'people' we are talking about are those we place in our inner circle of connections. People you feel ought to know you better; cut you more slack, be more forgiving and more than any one else, love you past your mistakes. It hurts when you look to such people and they find reasons why they cannot be there like this for you. It would seem they are just 'committed' to misunderstanding you and feel justified to do so. One quote I read adviced that I should not waste my time trying to explain myself to such people anymore. That sounds like solid advice especially as thus far, trying to explain myself has gotten me nowhere. That fight? I'm not fighting anymore.
Be that as it may, I have no intention of allowing these negative feelings fester away in me. No, not gonna happen. With each word I type here, I am releasing them. Clearly such thoughts are not good for me as a Christian and it really is quite foolish for me to keep on drinking poison and hoping someone else would die. For that, in essence, is what we do when we harbor any of these three 'cancer-enhancing' feelings: unforgiveness, bitterness or resentment. I remember hearing Oprah share once about how she was so mad with someone, her entire day was going so badly because she iwas going around consumed by her negative feelings towards this person. Then she goes out only to see the person walking down the road laughing and talking to someone! What! There she was miserably losing time she could not get back on someone who clearly was not as affected by the matter as she was!
Most of the time, that's what we are doing to ourselves. Those people at work, home or even in church should not have the power to 'steal' our precious time from us. We both know there is no rewind button on 'Life's CD Player'; any time we lose dwelling on the negative we cannot get back. I think it's key to note here too that the real enemy working through these people and situations is the devil. That goat will use anybody and anything to steal, kill and destroy us! We must resist that! We must fight back!
But not in the physical.
God helping me, my fight against negative emotions/situations will be more spiritual than ever.
I'm done trying to explain myself.
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