Saturday, 15 March 2014

Your Vision & The 5 Realities Of A Woman (inspired by Dr. Oby Ezekwesili)

She is perfect to be President? Perhaps.
One thing is sure, she is a strong, very accomplished woman
whose vision embraces ALL her realities.

Before you begin reading this blog, I would like to say one thing.

You don't have to agree with all that I am about to share. I hope you do but it is not by force. As much sense as this makes, I know there are some who will still bristle for some reason or the other. The truth is that the fact that I totally buy into all that Dr. Ezekwesili shared with us during the Shell Women's Network (SWN) sponsored celebration of International Women's Day does not mean you must do so too. Still, from the bottom of my heart, I pray you do. You see, at the end of the day, I think what I am about to share with you is the open secret to being intentional about living your best life now and building a wonderful legacy as you do. Anyway, I leave you to judge for yourself.

So tell me, what is your vision? If your vision is all about you, with all due respect, you may be short-changing yourself. As a woman, your vision should be ‘more’, bigger than you. Your vision should embrace your family. Yes, you must have what Oby Ezekwesili calls a ‘Family Vision’ When you have a family vision, it means you have fully embraced ALL your realities. Realities? Yes, thanks to this truly inspiring woman, I had an ‘aha’ moment as she clearly outlined the 5 realities of a woman. If you know me, you will see how come these realities resonated with me and I knew I had to share! Read on:

You are first and foremost a PERSON and uniquely so. Not man, not woman. PERSON. A person with equal human rights and abilities as any other person (male or female) out there. You should refuse to allow anyone  put a limit or cap on what you can or cannot do in this world. So your vision must fulfil YOU as a person.

You are a DAUGHTER who must not forget that she did not drop from the skies. Remember your parents. Always. Take it from me, you WANT to do this because when they are gone, your mind will be consumed with this one thought: Did I do enough? Could I have shown more love? And no matter how much you actually did, you will still question yourself. So today, go tweak your vision so it fulfills who you are as a daughter.

You are a SISTER and even if you are an only child, not only do you have cousins, nieces, nephews, you have non-blood siblings by faith or by marriage. Plus you know in our culture, we always have many people who call us 'sista mi'. How does your vision, as it stands today  take into account your siblings?  

You are a WIFE (or will be) and even if you are not, will not, chose not to be, you are still created to help, love and nurture other people. Just like your PapaGod. So is there anything in your vision that shows that that you are conscious of this?  I wish you been there to hear Dr. Ezekwesili talk about how much she loved being a wife. It gave me goosebumps. You could hear the sincerity in her voice. THIS woman whose resume made us all gasp in wonder said that in spite of all that, what she enjoys the most is being a wife. She loves it. Her vision to be at the top of her game in her chosen field did not stop her from making sure she fulfilled her role as a wife.

And finally you are a MOTHER. Yes, as long as you have a womb, you are a mother. You must bring forth children, ideas, inventions, wisdom. Does your vision currently embrace your children? As you purpose to reach out to and provide care and love to orphans, how are you reaching out to your own child/children? Dr. Ezekwesili shared about how someone met her son and could not help coming to ask her how she managed to bring up a son, in these days, that exhibits the same values she is known for. You would imagine that with all she has accomplished, all her many travels and work demands her kids would be rotten. They are not. Because, as best as she could, her vision embraced her role as a mom. May we not touch the world while our own 'personal' worlds rot. Tufiakwa!

I am still mulling all of this over in my heart but there is no doubt in my mind that if your vision for your life does not encompass all these your realities in some way or another, you might not really find true fulfilment at the end of your days. If there is anything that scares me is to live my life and die with the world leaving moving tributes about me while my husband, children and immediate family stand by wondering who on earth they are talking about! *cold chills*. I have gone back to my newly crafted 2014 vision and am working on it. Like I said, you don't have to agree with me but medoubts any success you find, that does not embrace your 5 realities, will be true success in the eyes of your Maker.

At least if you are a woman.

P. S. The theme of this year IWD is 'Inspiring Change' and there is no doubt that Dr. Ezekwesili inspired a change in the mindsets of many of us women who sat listening to her that day at work. God bless her and God bless the SWN.


  1. A brilliantly written piece, Sister. Totally resonated with me, too. Now I'm so excited about tweaking my Missio and Vision Statements. Hopefully, I'll get some sleep for the excitement of further self-discovery and the prospects of GIVING MORE.
    Keep them coming, Salt; and thanks for sharing.


  2. Couldn't have been summarized any better. It's amazing that such a simply message was able to turn on the lights...Elo

  3. @Ndudi: So wonderful to have you come by my blog! Thank you and I know exactly what you mean my Sis. Such a thrill to hear a woman like Dr Oby say stuff that deep down we know as God's path to our true success.

    @Elo: You can say that again! All the lights in the house were burning bright! I love this woman to bits now because she validates what I have always felt in my heart but had never built into my vision statement. But until you write it's not a vision or a goal just a dream or a wish. Thanks for coming by!

  4. Very very well said. One needs to go back to the drawing-vision board and make necessary amendments. When your vision doesn't feel bigger than you, you need to dream bigger! I especially love this " You should refuse to allow anyone put a limit or cap on what you can or cannot do in this world." God has placed in us greatness we shouldn't let anyone truncate it :)

    Thanks for sharing ma! Its time for Change!!

    1. I know Tommie, many times we do let people do that. It is just not fair especially to the God who has gone out of His way to so gift us! Change is here!

  5. I love this...totally resonates with me. Thank you so much for sharing Big Sis. Like Elo said, very simple message but it totally turned on the lights.

    1. First of all my apologies to you all for just responding. I am not sure why though! Forgive me. Even now reading it all over again StupendousGrace, the lights glow even brighter.

  6. I have posted several comments for this post but each time it just disappears ......
    I love this post so much.

    1. So do I FavouredWomn. So do I. It really is the open secret to leaving a legacy that cuts across your whole life. Thk you for coming by and again forgive my tardy reply.

  7. Wow! I am speechless, wide-mouthed..... Back to the drawing board, pronto! If my life can't make an impact in each sphere of my realities, then I would have fallen short of fulfilling my God-ordained purpose. Thanks for this reality check. God bless you richly and the wonderful lady who inspired this post.

    1. That was exactly how I felt the day I sat listening to her! It was a huge reality check for me too. Clearly I had to hold a conference with myself and re jig my vision for my life this year. Thank you for coming by. God bless you too! But for you would not have realized I had not replied to the older comments up there!


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