Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Condolences, Good. Forgiveness, Better (Honouring Prof. Daniel Oladele Adefolalu)

Yes, the words are coming to me but they are still rather jumbled up and mixed with tears, smiles and goosebumps. Why goosebumps? Let me explain.

Prof. Daniel Oladele Adefolalu
22-Nov.42 to 26.01.14
'A Professor & A Gentleman'
& now hopefully, a Peacemaker
I was sitting in my mgm's dressing area when I got the call about my Papa, my Prof and I remember that one of the very first clear feelings I had after the first wave of tears ebbed was that of  sheer relief that he had not died during our 2012 'black period'. That period when we were embroiled in a vitriolic father - daughter sms 'war'. It was just one of the lowest points in my life and if you ask me I cannot really even remember in detail what it was about now! I just thank God we sorted it out....that's what love does. As I sat there in that dressing room, I was so so so so thankful to God for the assurance I had that, somehow in the midst of all the pain, I had been able to show my dad how much I loved him. THAT was all that mattered. That I had, in some little way, given back to him.

So, the point of this blog is this: I want you to to be able to feel same when any of your loved ones goes home. I promise, nothing that is a source of contention or malice or un-forgiveness now will be worth it when that person is no more. The goosebumps that covered by arms that Sunday morning proved to me that as angry as I was back then in 2012, I would have been so utterly devastated if my Papa, my Prof had died before we made peace. Thank God Almighty, he did not. Your loved one does not have to either. You can send me your condolences. I would really appreciate them but if you really want to make me feel better. If you would like to join me in honouring my Papa, my beloved Prof Daniel Oladele Adefolalu, take some time out now and ask God to help you forgive anyone, especially anyone in your immediate  & extended family, that has wronged you and you are still holding on in bitterness & malice.

Like I said, your condolences will be great. But your forgiveness of others will be better. Way better.
I pray God gives you the grace to do what you know deep down is right.
For them and most especially for you. Please don't let your heart be seared shut.


Salt to Prof: Missing you so badly Papa, Missing you so badly. But so grateful you are at peace now and just like God promised, you are totally restored and totally whole......just not on my side of eternity. You are on God's side and that's the best side to be. I am happy for you. Rest well and as you do, let's see how many people we can get to forgive and forget, abi? Love you Papa. 
To God be all the glory!


  1. True word, Salt, true word. I had a similar issue with my father in 2012. I'm so glad to God, it is sorted out. May the Lord be there for you at each time you hurt and feel the pain of Papa's home call. May the assurance that you will see him again at the Lord's feet bring you comfort.

    1. Oh, Amen......Sis Irene. Amen.....Thank you so much. I pray someone, just someone will have a change of heart too.....

  2. Awww, what a touching tribute/celebration of your daddy's life and times. You are right, at the end of our time on earth, we realize that none of the things we really took up arms about, and refused to forgive, really matters. I wish I could share this blog with some people I know who have held on to a grudge against their mother for over 11 years now, but unfortunately, I have no way of reaching them with this because they are not available on social media. I pray that somehow a miracle will happen before their aged mum who is in her late 80s now, passes on.

    I bless God for settling that rift between you and your dear papa. He is at rest now where pain, disease and problems can no longer affect him. He is at eternal peace. Celebrate his life and times, and remember him with fondness. It is well. The Master required His presence and he has gone to answer that eternal call. Its tough, but it is well. May the Lord comfort those he left behind.

    1. How about we mail it to them via post or something......I will be praying for them cos I remember how I felt that day and it was so horrible AND that is me who had settled with my dad. Just the thought of what could have been made my tummy churn....Honestly, let's try to courier it to them if you have an address......

      Yes, when I think of my Papa all whole and 100% rejuvenated, I am happy. I am so happy for him.....but no more than ever in my life, I miss him. Now, I wish I had called him everyday.....but is that not how life is.......Thanks Sis.....please let's see what we can do for your friends.

  3. RIP Sir! May God almighty grant him eternal rest and give you the strength to lead, guide and protect all he left behind. Its indeed a glorious home call . Nice tribute and a grt lesson for us all.Forgiveness is indeed a very great peace of mind as it gives so much joy in the end.

  4. God bless you Habibat. Thank you.

  5. My memory of DADDY is very simple, I remember coming the houe in BOSSO and daddy was wearing. The apron asking all of us to sit that he was preparing something special. After eating the meal I said to my self, how can this high profile prof be.this simple.daddy we will all miss ur simple approach to life especially me!!!! RIP

  6. Hi cuz...dis is a wonderful piece and really touching. RIP to him and am really glad u made up with him. Was at ur house wiv my mum (Aunty Lola Oluwagbemi) last weekend but met ur absence....I reside with my husband within ur axis so should pay u a visit soon. Cheers Bunmi Omeke.

  7. Hi cuz. Very touching piece up there. May his soul rip. My condolences to u n family.Was at ur crib last weekend with my mum (aunty Lola Oluwagbemi, ur mum sister) . However I stay n work around ur axis n should pay u a visit soon. Regards to ur entire family. From Bunmi& Patrick Omeke

  8. Hi cuz...dis is a wonderful piece and really touching. RIP to him and am really glad u made up with him. Was at ur house wiv my mum (Aunty Lola Oluwagbemi) last weekend but met ur absence....I reside with my husband within ur axis so should pay u a visit soon. Cheers Bunmi Omeke.


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