Tuesday, 26 November 2013

A Letter to Yetunde's Mom

The funny thing is I never met Yetunde's mom. But since she passed on, I feel like I got to meet her and have been getting to know her better with each time I speak with her daughter who is missing her terribly. Yetunde, if you are reading this, please do not cry. You may, however, try to smile knowing that what you shared with your mom has the power to inspire others. At least it has inspired me. So come, let's read my letter to a very dear and priceless woman - your mom - Mrs. Margaret Kikelomo Omotayo Aiyepeku.

God bless you Ma

So I might not be able to say this to my mom
But by God's grace, my daughter will say this about me.
How about you?
I know you might not know me but just maybe Yetunde might have mentioned my name at some point or another. Anyway, my name is Salt but Yetunde and my other friends from Queen's College call me Bimbo or Bola. I know you must be wondering why I am writing you this letter. It's like this. Your daughter is missing you so acutely and being one who lost my mom years ago I do understand her pain but there is something different about how Yetunde is missing you. Different in a 'good' way. In a way that piqued my interest. No doubt losing a mom is sad but as I have gotten to know you through Yetunde's words and how she has been trying to cope with you being gone, I see that there are 'mother-daughter relationships' and there are 'mother-daughter relationships'. What you and Yetunde had was, clearly, on another level. Anyone with two eyes and a heart can see and feel what an incredible void you have left in her life  While it is sad Ma, I brag on God for you for that. For being what I call a very 'Present' mother, mother-in-love and grandmother.

Ma, may I share something with you? As I did my best to 'be there' and silently console your daughter during a visit to her I heard a jeering voice speak It said: You never had that. Time did not give you and your mom enough time for that. Why did God do that to you? 'True', I said to the voice and 'Though am not sure who invited you on this visit but thank you because all you have done is give me something to use to console my friend'. 

You see Ma, I refused to let that voice drag me down to a place of self-pity. Instead I let my mind dwell on you and what a wonderful mother you had been to your children and I told Yetunde to let her memories of you lift her spirit whenever she is down. I told her that when memories of you come, instead of making her sad, she should mount on them and fly to a place of thanksgiving for all the wonderful time God has given you both. For many, like me, like my sister can never have memories of our mothers as adult women with children of our own. Ma, I repeat, I brag on God for your life, for giving you all the time he did to see your children marry and have families of their own. I was speaking to Yetunde just this evening and she told me how you used to love coming for Thanksgiving in our church so I know you were a 'thinking woman' who knew how to thank God for all his many benefits and blessings. As my aburo would, that is a thing of beauty!

Ma, I don't want to bore you with a long letter per se but I must tell you what I guess you know already. Your daughter is a good friend. She might not remember but I do, how she it was that bought Aniekan's baby bath set and kept it ready at home for me before I got back home in December 2003. But for her, not sure how I would have bathed my baby being as I had totally forgotten about that one important item! She has been a consistent sista-pillar and one time 'CFO' since we re-connected in our estate back in 2001 I believe. Our children were so young then (Adeola was practically a baby and Adeyemi and Aniekan were not even born back then) We, our spouses, our children have all grown up together and though we may not see all the time, we know our connection exists. Ma, it is the same way that, though Yetunde might not be able to call you every single day and for every single thing or see you, your connection will always be solid as a rock.  It is my prayer that as she too reads this, she will allow this truth to warm her. Like I love to say, to live in the hearts of those we love is not to die so you surely live on in Yetunde's heart and the hearts of all those who love you.

Ma, I know I promised the letter will not be too long. Forgive me for not keeping my promise. Could I ask you a little favour? If perchance you meet a lovely lady like yourself called Monisola, could you hug her tight and tell her her children miss her so much? I think you will get on famously actually. Like you, had she had the time, I believe she would have been a wonderfully 'present' mother and grandmother too. And guess what Ma? You have done something else for us, your daughter and I. You have inspired us to want to be the kind of mother you were to our own children especially our daughters as they grow up. Now, that's legacy right there. It's been a pleasure meeting you Ma. Thank you so much for being an inspiration to me. It is my prayer that, many women, who read this, would feel the same way too.

Sun re o Ma

Your daughter's sistafriend, 

Salt.




2 comments:

  1. Salt!!!!! You really brought a flood of tears to me and i thank u for this piece!! You can't understand how it means to me even though my mom is still alive but i couldn't stop d flood of tears and to all that have lost a mom-may u receive a tight embrace from God in jesus name.Am deeplyyyyyyy touched by this.God bless ur hands and thoughts.to yetunde,though i don't know u but i pray God grant u the fortitude to bear the great loss and comfort you.

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    1. Thank you Bunmi. I can only imagine. I loved doing this so much in spite of all the emotions it welled up in me......it was truly carthatic...

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