Friday, 23 August 2013

Empty Me of Me.

I was stunned when I saw this on Google images
The exact same words of my prayers!
It just goes to prove that Life is Universal
Someone has walked this road before.
Truly encouraging.
Let me assure you of a basic human truth. True, we have one body, one mind, one heart and one face. Still, it is possible for us to be living two different experiences at the same time. OK, maybe its not a universal truth but it is mine because I can and I am. On the one hand, I am on a high basking in the recent incredulous move of God in my life. I am  grateful, joyful and in awe of God's love and how it is so true that nothing is impossible for him. But on the other hand, I am sort of down in the dumps and true I am quite aware of the devil's  tricks to steal my joy but I cannot help but feel bad. I mean, God is so good.  I can't help feeling so, so, well so bad really! So undeserving.

On one hand, I am super excited about the official/ceremonial release of my new book, True Confessions coming up on Sunday, 25th of August 2013. I am so grateful to God that it is already available in the three bookstores just as I had hoped. I feel so blessed to have genuine sistapillars around me supporting me. But again, on the other hand, I am upset as things just seem to be falling apart in other areas around me and I cannot seem to fix it. So on one hand, I am laughing, smiling, posting and even though I mean all I am saying , inside me, I am also 'crying'. OK, I admit. I am schizophrenic. 'conflicted'? On an emotional see-saw? Maybe I pre-menopausal? *smiling wryly*

Anyway, whatever is doing me, please don't cry for me Nigeria and the Rest of the world cos I sort of know what I need to do. God and Charles Stanley have sort of told me. I need to empty myself of all my emotional junk. There is too much 'me' in me. To center myself, I need more of God through His Holy Spirit and right now, there is too much me and not enough God. All day yesterday and today,  I have been sending up this fervent one-line prayer: Lord, my PapaGod, please, I beg you, empty me of me and fill me with you'. 

To behave as I really want to, to be cool, calm and collected as I really want to, to be led by God in everything rather than screaming like a banshee and demanding my way, I need to be led MORE by God's spirit and less by my pain, hurt, anger, flesh. And I had an a-ha moment as I spent time with God this morning cos He showed me that His spirit does not enter me through my mind. No, God enters me through ME. He needs to invade ME through my whole body and heart and it is from there, that my mind will be controlled. This is why I am called to be FILLED with his spirit. This is what I am called to remember that I am a TEMPLE of the most high God. God lives in me. He has to indwell me. And not just some of the 'rooms'. All the rooms in the temple need to be fully occupied by God.

So Lord, once again, please in your mercy, empty me of me so that you can indwell me FULLY in Jesus name. Amen. I really don't want to be on this emotional roller-coaster anymore. It takes so much energy! And Lord, you know I am tired, right?




5 comments:

  1. This has been my prayer for a long while now, and i know (and can see) that gradually he is emptying me of me.

    I just can't wait for the process to be alot easier.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know what I am seeing Tommie....it's gets easier the moment we really REALLY let God have his way.....not in just some rooms of our lives, in ALL the rooms........

      Delete
  2. (N.B i read this post after i read the visa application story) i can totally relate to this story because, i always seem to have "temporary happiness" and then monday comes and im like "i dont want to be here" You know my story now... but then again, i might not see the bigger picture here but what i do know is u have a great life, i mean i read all ur testimonies and it makes me always believe that God is still working! im like, this is someone like me hu is putting God to the test and look @ miracles just dancing @ her door steps! most of the time i pray what flashes thru my mind is "just believe, He IS DOING it for salt she has given u the formular, use it". My dear, i love being ur bluetooth friend coz im tapping sooo many things u may not even understand. that is not to say that God is not working for me o, ild be lying. However the mega breakthru i seek... hmmm, that is just the only side of me that still weighs me down.
    so sorry 4 dis epistle but i think u just have to be reminded that really, u r very loved by God and i pray He sees u thru the emotional roller coaster.

    ****Mufasa Said

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are so right Mufasa. God has done so many awesome things in my life and I am truly grateful to him especially because they boost the faith of his children and lead many to His light. I love that. I love the way God moves in my life but my love, I don't just want to see God's hands or acts, I want to know his ways, I want to see his face MORE. I sense my angst is really rooted in my dissatisfaction with my spiritual health but glory to God, am away from work and my normal home life right now and God and I are sorting me out. Trust me, plenty of emptying is going on *smiling*

    God bless you my encourager friend. Take that your mega breakthrouh need to your PapaGod and have an honest pow wow with him telling him ALL about it. I see now Mufasa that God wants to move for us because he loves to 'show off' his power in the lives of his children that trust and obey him!

    ReplyDelete
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