|Moi & my mighty good man (Mgm)|
Here's to another 20 years by the special grace
Wednesday, 1 May 2013
Celebrating 20 Years Of Marriage!
I am celebrating the grace and mercies of God today as my mgm and I move into our 20th year of marriage. It's such an amazing testimony and I stand in awe of God! Do send up a song of praise to God for me before you continue reading!
It's such a huge milestone and I cannot brag on God enough but trust me, as much as I love my mgm (and I must confess that I actually love him more now than when we first got married. I believe our love has been 'deepened' and purified to what it is now by time and the fires of many tests and trials) I have still seriously wanted to leave him at least five times over the last 20 years. Yes, there were times, it just seemed our love was not deep enough to hold us together. And even till today, he is for sure from Mars on some issues and I, from Venus! Lol!
So what kept me from leaving those times?
There have been a number of reasons ranging from: what would our families say? to 'how would I cope?' and 'where would I go? to 'what would people say'? to the real biggies 'how could I do that to my wonderful children? and 'God hates divorce'. But somehow over time, all these reasons seemed to lose their hold over me. Yes, at some point, I decided I did not want to end up like my mom and many moms back in that generation that stayed in marriages simply for their children. Then, at some point, I even stopped caring that God hated divorce! I reasoned that I would not be seeking divorce, just separation and God did not say anything about that in the Bible, right? *smiling wryly*
But today, my mgm and I are here clocking 20 years together because even when my deep love failed me and I was in a very dark place, I just could not bring myself to believe that God could make a mistake or fail at anything in my life and that included my marriage. I believed that no matter how horribly either of us messed up or missed our way, God could and would make a way of escape or work out a 'u-turn' for our marriage.
So even though sometimes I did not understand how peace could be restored, I simply trusted my PapaGod's inability to fail. I trusted a God for whom nothing is impossible. Not an easy thing to do in the heat of things. But still doable if you lean on Him fully and realise that sometimes, the wisest thing is to do absolutely nothing! To be still and let God.
I don't know all the answers and I am not claiming to know what the secrets of a long lasting marriage are but I do see in my life that even if there is love and trust, great sex and communication and loads of money and open-ness and selflessness and all the good stuff all the marriage books tell us, if a husband or wife believes s/he has the final say in his/her marriage and not God, medoubts that marriage will last 20 years oh! Human wisdom is rarely ever in line with God's will.
So were you to ask me today what the secret to my 20 year old marriage is, I would say 'all the good things the marriage books/counsellors tell you but more importantly choosing to let God have the final say.' That is my secret and so as you pop champagne with us today, please let me encourage you (married, soon to be married and will be married one day) to make this your secret too!
To God alone be ALL the glory!!!!!!
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