Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Celebrating 20 Years Of Marriage!


Moi & my mighty good man (Mgm)
Here's to another 20 years by the special grace
of God!
 I am celebrating the grace and mercies of God today as my mgm and I move into our 20th year of marriage. It's such an amazing testimony and I stand in awe of God! Do send up a song of praise to God for me before you continue reading!

It's such a huge milestone and I cannot brag on God enough but trust me, as much as I love my mgm (and I must confess that I actually love him more now than when we first got married. I believe our love has been 'deepened' and purified to what it is now by time and the fires of many tests and trials) I have still seriously wanted to leave him at least five times over the last 20 years. Yes, there were times, it just seemed our love was not deep enough to hold us together. And even till today, he is for sure from Mars on some issues and I, from Venus! Lol!

So what kept me from leaving those times?

There have been a number of reasons ranging from: what would our families say? to 'how would I cope?' and 'where would I go? to 'what would people say'? to the real biggies 'how could I do that to my wonderful children? and 'God hates divorce'.  But somehow over time, all these reasons seemed to lose their hold over me. Yes, at some point, I decided I did not want to end up like my mom and many moms back in that generation that stayed in marriages simply for their children. Then, at some point,  I even stopped caring that God hated divorce! I reasoned that I would not be seeking divorce, just separation and God did not say anything about that in the Bible, right? *smiling wryly*

But today, my mgm and I are here clocking 20 years together because even when my deep love failed me and I was in a very dark place, I just could not bring myself to believe that God could make a mistake or fail at anything in my life and that included my marriage. I believed that no matter how horribly either of us messed up or missed our way, God could and would make a way of escape or work out a 'u-turn' for our marriage.

So even though sometimes I did not understand how peace could be restored, I simply trusted my PapaGod's inability to fail. I trusted a God for whom nothing is impossible. Not an easy thing to do in the heat of things. But still doable if you lean on Him fully and realise that sometimes, the wisest thing is to do absolutely nothing! To be still and let God.

I  don't know all the answers and I am not claiming to know what the secrets of a long lasting marriage are but I do see in my life that even if there is love and trust, great sex and communication and loads of money and open-ness and selflessness and all the good stuff all the marriage books tell us, if a husband or wife believes s/he has the final say in his/her marriage and not God, medoubts that marriage will last 20 years oh! Human wisdom is rarely ever in line with God's will.

So were you to ask me today what the secret to my 20 year old marriage is, I would say 'all the good things the marriage books/counsellors tell you but more importantly choosing to let God have the final say.' That is my secret and so as you pop champagne with us today, please let me encourage you (married, soon to be married and will be married one day) to make this your secret too!

To God alone be ALL the glory!!!!!!


36 comments:

  1. Wow, my dear sister mi, two decades have flown by already? A big CONGRATULATION and (((HUGS))) to you and your dear husband.This is coming belatedly but the prayers are not.

    May the Lord wrap your union in His loving arms and continue to protect it as the mother hen protects her chicks such that you continue to stand strong in the face of every wind of challenge that may blow your way.

    I wish you a memorable one and pray that the One who has brought you this far, will keep you two in love and on fire for each other to the end. You will not be one of the statistics. God bless your home.

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    1. Amen my dear Sista! Amen! Thank you so much. Lailai, none of our marriages would be a negative stattistic in Jesus name. Amen! May the light of our marriages reflect all that God intended for them when he ordained this powerful relationship.

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    1. Thank you In the midst of her! Wishing you same and more!

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  3. Congratulations. The Lord will surely continue what He has started IJN.

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    1. Amen! Thank you Ovine. So shall it be in your life as well in Jesus name. Amen! All that he has spoken into your life shall manifest to the glory of his name and the joy and fulfilment of your family!

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  4. Congratulations Bola to you and your husband. May God bless you with multiple years 20+20. To Him be all the glory and honour for keeping you both together, may He continue to bless the fruit of your labour and all that you set your hands to do. May He bless your children and your home with abundance and overflow more than you have room enough to hold. Again God bless you!

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    1. Oh, God bless you Yvonne, my dear Sista! If you listen carefully you just might hear me shouting AMEN!!!!! from over here. Love, love, love the wordings of your prayer. Thank you so much!

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  5. Congratulations. May the Lord bless and keep your marriage and fill it with so much joy in Jesus name... Amen!

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    1. Joy! Joy! So shall it be in Jesus name. Amen! Thank you Bernie! May your prayers boomerang right back on your marriage in Jesus name. Amen!

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  6. Thank you so much for this. Been blessed afresh by you again today.

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    1. I am blessed to hear that. When I do these blogs, my prayer is for even just ONE person to 'get something'. Thank you for letting me know that God God hears me. Mwaah!

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  7. Wow, congratulations! You two are looking great and I wish you more health, love and happiness together

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    1. Thanks Myne! I wish you and Atala the same and more! Always nice to 'see' you here!

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  8. Wow....congrats...20 yrs loun loun.....you will celebrate many many more years together in Jesus name. God will continually put a new song in your mouth, dance steps will never cease from your home, everlasting joy beyond human comprehension will abide with you and yours. I know we will all read your testimony again year after year to celebrate your 50th, 60th wedding anniversary in Jesus name. Amen

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    1. Amen, amen, amen!!!!! I love the words of your prayers Sykik! May all you pray for me boomerang right back on you!

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  9. CONGRATS MY DARLYN SIS!
    HUBBY AND I ARE FIVE YEARS TODAY TOO
    YOURS IS AN EVIDENCE FOR ME THAT WE ALSO WILL CELEBRATE 20 YEARS
    GOD INDEED IS A FAITHFUL GOD!
    I LOVE, ADMIRE AND APPRECIATE YOU DEARLY!
    GOD BLESS YOUR HOME.....

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    1. I am confident that you will get to 20 years and even go beyond that. How come? Because I know you know that God alone has the final say over your life! Thank you so much for being my sista, a JUM mom and just a true pillar of support! Mwaah!

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  10. Congrats Salt!!
    20yrs in marriage isn't chin chin!!
    I wish you many more
    And tap into this grace.

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    1. Thank you Tamie! Not one bit of chin chin o! Not one bit. But you know the more spouses let God's heart beat in their chests......marriage can be a little like heaven on earth. Every day, I ask God to give me his heart for his son. The grace you seek you will get and much more my dia!

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  11. Very mighty belated congratulations and like Tamie did, I'm tapping into your grace ooo...(ain't easy at all and even though ours is still relatively young, could identify with wanting to just get up and leave. Yes) May God continue to keep and uphold your home and may your love continue to wax stronger each passing day IJN.

    Sending lots of cyberhugs your way.

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    1. Hugging you right back Abiola! Amen to your prayers and I pray same over you too in Jesus name! As long as we invite God, he will help us in all our affairs......Thanks for coming by!

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  12. God bless you Bola, just discovered your blog. I am truly blessed by your sincere words. God keep you and your hubby in love and good health. Get ready for the next 20yrs dear. Keep the torch burning. Cynthia

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    1. Thank you Cynthia! For coming by and especially for your prayers! Amen and amen!

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  13. Aww Congratulations! Wow! Enjoyed every bit. You clearly have worked on keeping it real and that was reflected in the interview. Lol @ libido drive. Hmm.
    I've got a question though, did you not feel in the least bit slighted when you realised 'you were a bet'? I ask cos I've been playing the scene in my head, and err I'm not sure I like the feeling o! Yea it turned out all romantic-him fallling for you and all but then *shrugs* #justasking . P.S: adim very single and wonder how I'd feel if my intending tells me that.

    I pray your unions blossoms to witness many decades of togetherness and love!

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    1. Lol, Chioma! Thanks for coming by. Thinking back, I don't remember being miffed.....maybe because I was not easy at all o! He had to work hard to win that bet!!! Lol! But you know, people are different......what was more important to me was that I felt the feelings he had were genuine......and worth taking a chance on.......

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  14. Congratulations! I read your interview on Myne's blog and just had to come by your blog.

    May God continue to bless your home and give you cause to rejoice in your marriage. Well done and congratulations on 20years. Look forward to many more in Jesus name xx

    PS.. Love your blog xx

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    1. Thank you 1 + The One, for coming by and your kind words and prayers. Yes, I am looking forward to the next 20 years o! It promises to be an even more exciting ride. Lol! May all your prayers over me and all your good wishes boomerang right back at you!

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  15. Congrats! You inspire my single self. May God bless your marriage with His joy, no matter what you go through. In Jesus Name, Amen!
    DrLily!

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    1. Dr Lily!!!!! Missed you. How have you been? Thank you for your prayers and I say a huge AMEN!!!!!

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  16. ****Mufasa Said18 May 2013 at 07:07

    Wow! Words of inspiration to hold on no matter what.
    God bless ur Marriage for many more years to come. I still av a long way to go Then.

    ****Mufasa Said

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    1. Thank you Mufasa.....Yes, hold on to God's will no matter what. But let me just clarify that I personally don't believe it is God's will to hold in in a marriage where there is serial abuse of any form especially physical. God forbid your life or the lives of your children are in danger, separate yourself from such a situation. You can only hold on to God when you ARE ALIVE o!!!!!

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  17. WOW!! God Bless your marriage. You have no idea how what you've said here has touched me.. Mine is not in the marriage issue but what i needed to hear is somewhere between those texts. God bless you.

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    1. You see, this is one of the reasons I love doing these blogs! Knowing that somehow, somehow, no matter how small, God will speak to his own.....using my words.....To him alone be all the glory....
      Thank you Akibo Tommie for sharing this with me! And amen to your prayer.

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  18. Finally seen your MGM!!! He's a dream *big smile* congratulations, God keep your home for many more decades.

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  19. Jenny, indeed he is a dream but trust me, I am so happy that when I wake up, the dream matches my reality....in all the ways that matter most....Lol!

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