Saturday, 23 March 2013

It's Up To You

I cried out. God heard me.

I feel light as air. Like someone has worked me over with a vacuum cleaner and hoovered out all the 'dust' blocking me up all this while. This is why I  love attending the Woman Cry Out Prayer Conferences. I go in one way and come out another. Today, I went it with heaviness about certain parts of my life and came out lighter. Light as air. And it was up to me.

I had to make up my mind to let everything go all over again. For good. Preparing for the JUM prayer gathering, I had done my best to free myself of all the angst clogging my system. Today, as I cried and cried out, I realised that I had not really let them go, I had just packed them to one side.Not quite the same thing. Its like sweeping a room and instead of packing up the dirt and throwing it in the garbage, you sweep it all under the carpet in the corner. As I listened to Pastor Bemigho, I knew that I was tired of living with dust under my carpet. But who was going to clean it up? Yes, that's right. Me. It was all up to me.

But you know sometimes, letting go, forgiving people and moving on is almost more painful than the pain itself. But I wanted to be be free and so I got real with God and told him exactly how I felt about the people and things that were 'vexing' me (myself included). As Pastor B said, it was not time to be cute. I was not cute at all and I did not mince my words with God. Thankfully God being God, he took it all on the chin. And you know what? I did not feel any heat going up and down my body. I did not feel any bright light descend on me. I did not hear any voice from above. I did not feel anything. But I knew God had touched me, taken my burden off my head and heart and set me free. I am trully lighter and I cannot thank God enough. But the truth still remains that I had to ask. I had to make up my mind to go to God sincerely. It was up to me.

You see, at the end of the day, God is not a Dictator. He will not force us to do anything. He allows us make our own choices and what we are and what we will be all rides on the choices we made yesterday or will make today.We are a sum of all our choices. But I was reminded today at the Woman Cry Out Conference that God allows u-turns. We don't have to let our past wrong choices, actions, words or thoughts continue to rule and ruin our lives. We can decide to stop and tell the devil 'thus far and no more'. That is what I did today. But to be able to look that goat in the eye and kick him out, I had to 'clean my house' properly. I had to let go of all the rage burning in me against myself and others. I had to face this truth and then I had to deal with it. I had to make that choice. It was all up to me.

But as much as it is all up to us, the moment God sees you sincerely want it, he steps in and helps you. Like he has helped me today as I cried out to him with purpose. Do you feel stuck? Is there a breakthrough you seek? Perhaps you need to do some house cleaning too to unlock your breakthrough? Maybe God wants to free you before he 'feeds' you? You will never know if you don't go to him and ask him. He is willing to show you what you need to do to walk into all you desire. All you need to do is ask him and when he speaks, to obey. At the end of the day, it is all up to you.

I tell you when you hear that the WCO conference is holding, do yourself a favour and attend. I mean it.


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