Expectations are the mark of bad, unhealthy and/or mediocre relationships. It is being in a relationship with preconceived notions of what needs to happen to make it work. Doing this I have learned opens us up to disappointment.
So if expectations kill relationships what are we to have then? We are to have an Expectancy. What is that? It's having a desire to be with someone with no agenda, no preconceived ideas but a whole lot of anticipation that good things were coming your way with that person.
True, as humans, we will probably always have expectations but I see now that if we do not watch them carefully they have the potential to be huge problems in our relationships. Anyway, you know what? I shall leave you to think about this yourself. Permit me to just share with you a quote from the book which I believe sheds some light on the matter. Read it and think. May the spirit of God in you speak to you and cause change to be birthed in you in this area. I personally believe that many of our relationships will be healed as a result.
”Mack, if you and I are friends there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is an expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that expectancy to an expectation- spoken or unspoken?…You are now expected to perform in a way that meets that expectation…Our living friendship deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends (spouses)* are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend (spouse)…”