Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Embracing Regret


I am not a fan of the Vanguard Newspaper (no offense but they really need to do something about their font, format and layout. Just saying…). My mgm seems to like it though cos he always buys a copy but I am thinking that’s cause he is a crossword junkie *smiling*. Anyway, so I read this paper seeing as it is always there to read and over time I now look forward to reading the second or third page and my focus in on just two boxes. One has a quote from Ituah Ighodalo and the other usually has a quote from some woman called Ella Randle.Yesterday I read Ella’s quote and I just have to share. I don’t have the paper with me here so I shall try to paraphrase:

Some people, when you ask them, say they have no regrets in life. I feel for them somewhat for I believe that to be a complete person, truly human and humane, one must have some regrets in life.

Yes, I know. I too was like ‘What? Why?'

Let me try and explain what came to me as I thought more about it. First of all, I believe personally that everyone has regrets even though some people claim not to. There are little day to day ones like me caving in yesterday and having pasta during the week. I am on a ‘no carbs during the week wellness plan’ (no, not diet. It’s a wellness plan. Lol!). So I ate pasta last night and the moment I put the last forkful in my mouth I felt a tinge of regret. But not enough to lose sleep over. Now, there are the big regrets. The ones we have over wrong decisions taken with regard to our education, careers, romance, faith, family, children and all the other zillion life choices we have to make from time to time. All those wrong choices caused us much regret but Ella is telling us that rather than camp by them, we should grow through them.

Yes, instead of crying over the spilt milk, we should look at the broken bottle, the river of milk seeping into the carpet/ground, the actions that led to the liquid being spilled and rather than become transfixed by shame, we should learn how not to let it happen again. Or become very clear what reality you would prefer to be looking at and plan how to make it happen.

Ella said and I agree that regrets help our creativity. For when that regret comes to mind again, you can travel in your mind back to that place where that wrong choice was made and imagine the sequence of events had you not done things the way you did. How your life would have turned out? Close your eyes and picture yourself living a life birthed from the right decision …… and then exhale, open your eyes come back to your now and make up your mind to continue the rest of your days from that perspective.

I don't know about you but realising that regrets can actually be quite powerful if used correctly or profitably if you like was so empowering. Having regrets does not have to root one in the miry clay of self-pity or self-loathing as it usually does. Instead, how about we let it do something positive for us? How about we embrace our regrets and let them ginger our creativity and assure us that we are survivors, that we are, can be better than our mistakes?

I don’t know if I have made kobo sense here today but at least I can breathe a bit easier now cos being away from my blog for so long has been causing me some serious ‘congestion’ issues. My brain has just been on overdrive for the past four or five days, robbing me of sleep! So please bear with me if I post two more blogs today o!

Oh, and welcome to the last month of December! As one of my favourite songs in Yoruba goes ‘ Odun bo s’opin o Baba Mimo, jowo wa so wa o, t’oko, t’omo. Oun ti o pa ni lekun o, L’odun tuntun, ma je ko sele si wa Baba rere. (Lord, the year is coming to an end, anything that would cause us to shed tears in the New Year, please let it be far from us). Do I hear an ’Amen’?

Oh and do you want to make a Christmas wish and get something lovely? Click here and find out more from the lovely Seye Oke's Post A Wish promotion. There are some awesome gifts to wish for and all you have to do is pick and pray to win! I , personally, am eye-ing that Ipad. Lol!

9 comments:

  1. You make sense Salt! Truly inspirational. I cannot say that I don't have regrets in life on this planet. Amen to that prayer.

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    1. I am glad Eya. Neither can I. But I don't want them stealing away my present and future any more........Rather than devalue, I shall use them to add value to my now and my tomorrow....

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  2. Sister Salt; shoud I just say GBAM or what?? GBAM, it is.
    You most defintely made more than kobo sense. Thank you.

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    1. No doubt, it is a God thing cos I thought I was so happy to be back on my blog that I rambled a bit. Getting to this place, thanks to Ella Randle, was such a free-ing and empowering experience. Thanks Zee!!!

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  3. We can only use regrets as stepping stones to make us grow.

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  4. I love that song as well, it came to my mind earlier this month. Thank God for His mercies and the ability to help us learn and become better person in comparison to who we were in the past.

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    1. Amen o!!!!! Yes, no matter what, even if we fail, we will fail forward in Jesus name. Amen! Compliments of the season Funmi¬¬¬

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  5. Happy december Salt!!
    And vanguard is ma dadz fav paper for a very long time...ℓ☺ℓ! I totally concur abt their font and layout!
    Sometimes when people say they don't have regrets I think they want to sound positive or talk positive or so. Like if they say the have regrets it would douse their faith over something or so. To me regrets are part of the fabric of life but not points to set up campbeds and sleep but points to learn the lesson it provided and move on.

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    1. Happy December Tamie!!! You are right and I don;t know why we think that way. Hving regrets does not make you any less of a person. On the contrary accepting them demostrates a level of maturity.....That I have regrets does not refute the truth of God in my life.

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