Monday, 10 September 2012

Monument of Shame/Pain?

In my life time, very few things cause me to wriggle in shame and/or burn with the heat of  regret. I just have not had the opportunity to disgrace myself too many times. But the times that I have, they have been bad. I mean real bad. I am not sure that the way I feel about those mistakes will ever totally, hundred percent go away but one thing I do know is that it is up to me and me alone to decide if I want to live the rest of my days haunted by the past or if I will face my front and look toward my future. Yes, I failed woefully somewhere along the way, but I am not a failure. So, the choice is all mine. No one can help me make it.

Today, I had to be somewhere. I tell you, if I had known I would have to be at this place early enough, I would have declined the invitation. When I looked at the document and saw the venue my insides began to churn and I felt quite ill. It all brought back memories of stuff I would rather not remember. There are places, people, movies, songs, pictures that have the power to do this to us but I ask why do we let them? Has God not, in his grace, mercy and love, allowed us to survive those events? Have we not truly repented and asked for forgiveness? Then why do we continue to give them so much power over us? This is the question I asked myself all night and this morning.

Then I remembered something God had told me way back then when every time I had cause to even go by this place, I would cringe mentally. He said to me (and is it not just like God to make me remember this today cos I had truly forgotten) that I could either look at this place as a testament to my shame, regret, anger, pain, resentment and guilt or I could look at this place as a mighty, shiny testament to his boundless mercies and unconditional, un-questionable love for me. For indeed, but for God, I should not be here. I should be dead.

But I am not. In spite of me, God still loves me. In spite of me, his mercies continue to say 'No' even when the enemy says 'she deserves to die!' In spite of me, stuff that should have died, continue to thrive and even blossom more beautifully. Oh, what an awesome awesome God we serve! So, dear one reading this now, if like me, you have some people, some places, some movies, some books, some whatevers or whoevers that try to take you back to your place of shame and regret and pain and anger, REFUSE such thoughts! As soon as they flood your mind, just hit the delete button!

Yes, instead of letting them drag you down, let them lift you up as you remember that BUT for God, those mistakes could have ruined you for life or worse killed you dead. Instead of letting them make you sad, let them make you rejoice in the love and mercy of your God. Instead of letting them drag you down to the devil's altar where condemnation will be heaped on your head, let it cause you to burst into songs of praise as you ascend into God's presence where peace will fill your heart and mercies will crown your head.

In short, don't look at those things as monuments of shame and pain. Choose, like me to regard all those things, places or people as 'Monuments of God's Love and Mercy' erected in your life. For indeed, as horrible as those events and circumstances were, what the enemy meant for our shame and destruction has worked out for our good somehow. That can only be God. 

Of a truth, it can only be God and this is why I stand in awe of you Lord. Thank you so much for reminding me about this today. I hope some one else out there too will read this and make a choice today to refuse to allow the enemy erect any monuments of shame/pain in his/her life. For if you are still breathing and still sane, then you can still win the fight for your life.

P. S. One more thing and quite vital. The monument should also be a caution sign for us. Only the truly foolish tread the same wrong path twice in a row. God's mercy is not to be taken for granted.

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