Saturday, 8 September 2012

Better Not Bigger

When was the last time you asked God to make you better instead of bigger?

Maybe, its just me but I know that most of the time I am knocking on heavens door, it is always about God having mercy on me and providing me with more this. Blessing my family with more that. PapaGod,  please gimme, gimme, gimme. But like I have said before on this blog, I am more than that and so are you. As much as God wants us to live abundant lives, I am pretty certain he made us for more than just the acquisition of  'stuff'.

So, again I ask, when was the last time you asked God to make you better and not just bigger? 

My answer would be: Last Sunday after church. Sometime before then I just got tired of myself and all I thought I wanted to do with my life and all I felt that God has in store for me. I got tired of waiting and expecting. Not in a bad way. Not because I felt God would not do it for me. It was more me just coming to a place where I just wanted to be free of 'looking out into the horizon' for a while. I decided to give myself a break from 'waiting for the vision', to stop obsessing too much about this my God-given destiny in the making. I decided to chill and just go with the flow of my normal life and leave it to God to do as he pleased. If he gave me the destiny right from my mom's womb, as long as I lived my life right by him and stayed in his will then surely he will bring it to pass in his own time. I mean, can God go back on his own word? Lailai! Never!

So even though I was going to hold fast to all my God-give promises which I look forward to receiving in my future, I made up my mind to focus more on asking God to please just make me a better person as the 'Bola' that I am today. The Bola that:

- is a woman that knows with no iota of doubt that God is real and that He loves and lives in her
- is the wife of a mighty good man
- is the mom to three healthy, blessed and highly favoured children
- is the big sister to awesome siblings
- is a woman who has discovered her 'voice' and knows it has purpose.
- is a woman blessed with some fiercely loyal people-pillars
  
In spite of all the enemy has thrown my way in this life time, see how wealthy I am! Which of the above can money buy for me? Which of the above can having a best selling book acquire for me? I could give talks all over the world but how many talks will earn me the above? This blog of mine could blow up but would having a 1000 followers bring me such blessings? As much as I would love all this 'stuff' in my life time, I am just tired of making them my focus. Last Sunday, I gave myself a break from it all. And I was at peace. I still am. 

And do you know what happened right after I did that? Yes, a door opened to me all by its God-ordained self. I did not even have to knock. It just opened. I have not walked into yet, still looking at the opened door trusting that God who opened it will provide the means for me to walk through it. Bigger is good and I have nothing against it but for this season of my life, I just want to chill and focus on......

Being better at who I am in my NOW. 

How about you? Try it. It really is quite 'free-ing'
Chilling in my 'now' trusting God to sort my future.
  

6 comments:

  1. Again, out of the mouth of two or three...

    I have been struggling with the same thing...me,me,me. Change this, do this, bless me, lift me up etc etc...until like you I got exhausted with myself and my incessant self-centeredness and stopped.

    Now, I'm asking Him 'what do YOU want'? and peace has descended.

    God bless

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Peace has descended.

      Glory be to this our God. How great is he? Thanks Splitting Issues. Thank you so much for your comment. Sometimes it is so reassuring to know that these feelings/thoughts are not just 'doing me' alone.

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  2. I want to be better, much better, better than my best....Lord help me to seek to be better and not just bigger. It's so amazing that all we ask from God is to make us big, not knowing that there's a "better" state in Christ that brings all the "big" things we desire, without struggling. God will perfect that which He has started in you ma. This is a "now" message, my prayer focus just changed from bigger to better. God bless you for sharing this ma.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You nailed it. Getting to our 'better' always brings with it, 'bigger' blessings. We just get it twisted so often. Plus seeking only God's hands all the time and waiting for him to act gets so exhausting sometimes because we have stopped taking time out to seek his face. We don't ask him how he is, what he wants. God is not a sugar daddy so we need to quite treating him like one. I thank God so much that this speaks to you too.

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  3. I wanna be better and by being better,I'll be bigger. I wanna stop asking for material things only and focus on growing spiritually..nice post

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for ocming by Becqui. I am with you on that 110%. As we seek his face, his hands will move in our lives as sure as night follows day.

      Delete

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