Saturday, 11 August 2012

Men Bleed Too? *Eyebrow Arched Cynically*

I have to confess, this was one blog I was not going to blog. I have been fighting it ever since the thought dropped into my spirit some days after I did the last one. I tell you, I vexed cos I was like ''What? Please, cry me a river. What can any man out there possibly have gone through compared to what we women have to deal with on account of it being a 'man's world' or ' the way we are' or 'that is our culture'. I am sorry, I know it is not very Christian-ly of me but I cannot lie, I just was not feeling the ''but men bleed too'' word my spirit was conjuring up in my heart. In fact, the only time I managed to even accept the idea a little it was to say, 'well,  serves them right for life is a boomerang and it is what you throw out there that generally comes back to smack you in the face. So dear man of mine, if your heart is bleeding, then it is because you have caused some woman's heart out there to bleed. Chikena! All is fair in blood and guts! I mean, who ever heard of the man with the issue of blood in the Bible?

*exhaling* (more like snorting). As you can tell, I am a bit peeved cos, try as I might, I could not shake free from this blog. God would not let me. I might not articulate 100% what I want to say but, at the end of the day, I have to sort of give in that there just might be some men out there who are genuinely bleeding too and no matter how I want to vex the matter, God does not roll like that. Jesus is very inclusive and so his death on the Cross covers men too. All men. Plus including the ones that have caused others to bleed from their bodies and their hearts. And you and I both know that there are some men out there. (very rare breed of men) who bleed from genuine issues of life that are not payback for their own wrongdoing. It is about these men that I blog today.

Men like Chike whose heart bleeds from the rejection of his father and mother because he chose to stick by and marry Temisan even though she is SS and he is AS. They could never understand how his love for her was willing to take such a risk and they never did. They died in car crash in 2009 never setting eyes on their grandkids. Chike's heart bleeds with a mixture of anger and sadness so acute it robs him of sleep sometimes.

Men like Babasola who trusted his favourite auntie when she told him she would help him with his education and even got him admission at the University of Ife. How could he ever have envisaged how she meant for him to thank her? How could he have refused her? Should he have told his parents? His uncle? Many years have gone by since then and these are the questions that make his heart bleed. On the outside, all is well but deep in his soul he knows something is off for here he is today, and never once has he dated a woman his age and he does not fully know why but women anger him but he never shows it. He hides all these emotions in his bleeding heart.

Men like Brian. All he ever did was love his wife, Mosun and do all he could to take care of her and his children. He was a Christian in word and deed.So how could she betray him like that? And with his own brother? Was he not good enough? Did his brother have something he did not have? His love for her forgave her and over the years she proved to him that she was truly sorry but still, he cannot lie. His heart and indeed his ego still bleed.

Men like Umar. Hardworking, loyal and committed Umar. The best employee in the team. Yet, with each promotion list that comes out, he sees his colleagues move ahead of him. They drink,womanize and party with the Line Managers. He does not. His faith does not permit him. His heart bleeds from the injustice of it all. Should he give in? Should he compromise? The pain of rejection and failure dig deep.

How about men like Melvyn who woke up one morning to discover that, of the three children he had brought up all these many years, only one was his. His daughter. His traditionalist Igbo heart has been bleeding ever since for now it appears his two sons are not really his two sons. Hia! How could Sheri do this to him? Lie to him for so long about something so fundamental? But that is the way his cookie has crumbled. 

Like I said for the women, these case studies are not exhaustive and you probably know more painful ones. So we must agree that the men also bleed. But they too need not do so. They too must be free from all the pain and anger and sadness and fear and all of it and move on. Christ died to set them free too and a heart is a heart whether it be in a female body or a male. Granted, the way men feel and deal with pain and hurt is not like how we feel it but then again, who told me that? Is it because they hide it behind those macho exteriors? So how do we get them to quit being so macho and fling themselves at the Cross? Do you know, funny enough, methinks that the same thing stopping us emotional women from being truly free is what is stopping the macho men. What is that?

Unbelief. And it has no gender.

For if we, men and woman truly believed God is who he says he is and that He has done what he says he has done, then, by faith, we will, drop all the shackles of nonsense from our pasts, step up boldly to the plate of our lives and  embrace our blood-bought freedom. Yes, if we believed God, all of us, regardless of gender would stop all this bleeding and just.....

Be Free O!



  1. Thanks, God bless you for this gr8 post. Bless you for stopping by my blog too.

  2. Yep, Men bleed too but I don't know what it is, ego maybe, stops a whole lot of them from showing it. I know one such man whose wife is putting him through a whole lot (possibly to get a reaction out of him, get his attention), but although he feels the pain, he doesn't show to his wife and then she just goes on and does even worse stuff. Not even a hint of an affair or a possible divorce coming from the wife or the threat of never letting him near his son has got him to react. She is pushing him, and he too he is refusing to show though he's bleeding inside.

    1. Hmmmmm......Efua, this scares and worries me in equal proportions. I pray I am wrong BUT the day this guy will 'spark' it will not be pretty. Lord, intervene in this couple's affairs. Please. Thanks for coming by Efua.


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