Wednesday, 13 June 2012
I Hate It When Love Gets Mean
My life has been bitter-sweet lately but that is OK cos I am kinda use to it. But though I am used to it, I can tell you, it hurts when love is mean. I find it difficult to understand mean love. Tough love? I understand. Blind love? Not always the best but I understand that too. Crazy love? Well, how for do? Sometimes, love is just mad and I get it but mean love? Mean, vindictive, manipulative love. This, I do not get and I do not like. At all.
I always ask myself how come humans are so capable of committing horrendous atrocities all in the name of love. God's love is never mean even though we sometimes think so but it really is not. No matter how hard God comes down on us sometimes, you can always trace it back to his love for us. True, sometimes it takes us a while to figure it out but that is just the truth. God is not wicked. Human beings are. And then they have the nerve to claim that it is borne of love! May God forgive us all for taking the name of love in vain!
Anyway, we human beings need to check ourselves well cos I think sometimes we do not even know when our love has stopped being loving. And the truth is, right now, even as I vent, I know that some of my recent actions have been mean too so don't get me wrong, as I point at you, the other four fingers are pointing right back at me. Yes, I find that, in recent times, I have more or less cut some people out of my life. People I say I love. How come? Cos I believe they have wronged me. I am vexed. I am praying for grace to let go of my vexing and to be honest, that grace has not come down on me yet. The thing is I do not vex easily but when I vex, it is not a pretty thing. Especially when you are someone I care about deeply.
I don't know about you but it is hard for people I am not close to hurt me. But people I love? When they let their love turn mean on me? Now, that is just like a Judas kiss. Like Brutus sticking it to Caesar! If I don't have a close relationship with you and you behave badly or say something nasty about me, it might sting a bit but, like a duck does to water, I just shake it off my back and move on. Not so easy when a bond beyond the superficial exists. I just stand there, stunned, wondering 'How could s/he do/say that and have the nerve to tell me it is cos s/he loves me?' How, in the name of all things bright and beautiful can you love me so mean-ly?
I guess the answer lies in our humanity. We are humans that's why. And right from the get go our hearts are mean. God is the only person I know that is able to love and be tough without it turning mean. Only when we let God's love overtake us do we become better at doing tough love better. Anyway, I shall quit whining now and move on too. I give up o jare. I have no control over other people but I have control over me. So let me just focus jejely on myself.
Instead of waiting for people to change, God on my side, I will just be the change I would love to see. I will not allow people make me mean-hearted. Change my nature? Lailai!. No, I won't let that happen cos it would just be a crying shame.
Don't you think?
P.S. And moving on to even better matters, did you check out my new 'Read it Aloud, Wanna Come tab up there?
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