Friday, 11 May 2012

Take a Message to My Mom

Take a message to my mom. Tell her I miss her so much. Tell her she really needs to think about coming home. I know. That does not make any sense cos how do you ask the dead to come back? You don’t. You can’t. Still, it made me feel slightly better just typing those words like there was a possibility, a slim, barely there chance of such a miracle occurring in my life today. Lord knows, I need it.

But you can still take a message to my mom. You can tell her that never, since she died, has today been so painful. True, not having her around me, available for me all these years has always caused me grief but today, the emotional pain is keener. Yes, tell my mom that today, I truly, really, from the bottom of my heart wish she was here. I actually think that it is quite unfair that I should not have a mom around me in this season of my life. I told God what I thought and he told me he was my mom and he loves me so I just shut up. I mean, it is true I miss my mom but a mom like God? Who can compare? And it is true, God has and will always be my Papa and MamaGod.

Still take a message to my mom. Tell her that I know she must be watching this drama that is my life and going back and forth between smiling and sighing. I don’t blame her. So am I. Smiling and sighing. I sighed this morning when I woke up to another day without a mother. I smiled ten minutes ago as I sent off the approval form for the inside layout of the third Diary. Is that how it is up there in heaven mom? Highs and Lows? Smiles and Sighs? I doubt it. It must be all highs and smiles, all the way, abi? Or else you would have come back. *smiling*. Yes now! What’s the point if heaven has sighing too?

But thankfully heaven does not do sighs so take this message to my mom. Tell her I miss her but she can stay where she is. Down here is not so hot to be honest. True, cool things happen. Like her three cool grandchildren. Like being married to a great guy I love but sometimes want to kill (just kidding. Ok maybe not). Like having my sister on the cover of my book. Like being alive actually. Yes, being alive is pretty cool and I am grateful. Regardless. So take a message to my mom. Tell her it is true that cool things are happening down here but for some reason, the older I get the more I miss her and her not being with me right now? Honestly? It sucks! OK, well maybe you won’t say it like that but do try your best to convey the intensity of my feelings about this, will you? Thank you.

Yes, thank you for taking a message to my mom who died today, twenty-six years ago.

I give thanks. Regardless.


One more thing. If your mom is still alive, thank you for calling her and telling her you love and appreciate her. Do it today. Now. Why? Because you can.  Do it for people like me, motherless people, who would love to but can't.

6 comments:

  1. Thank God your mother was a good mother to you, such that you can remember her in good light

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, thank God. But you know what? I think that even if she were bad I would still miss having a mother.......

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  2. I'm sure your mom is reading, watching over you. What a lovely write-up, HUGS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Myne! Thanks for coming by! Yes, I believe you are right.

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  3. 26 years!!!! And you have lived through it even when you must have felt like you didn't want to live without her.
    God's grace is amazing.
    I'm sure she's mighty proud of you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmn!! so much love for a mother

    ReplyDelete

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