Tuesday, 1 May 2012

So What's The Secret of a 19 year old Marriage?

I dedicate this blog to every woman, every man out there fighting to keep their marriages in spite of all the odds. True, not all marriages are worth fighting for but could that be because they should not have been entered into in the first place?  I really don't know to be honest? I am just finding my way like any other but I do know that life is just so crazy these days and the only thing that keeps me sane is my God and today, I brag on him for placing me in a marriage worth fighting for.
  
So what is the secret of a 19 year old marriage such as mine has become today? Yes, all glory to God alone for keeping my mgm and I to see this day cos it has really nothing, well almost nothing to do with me, with him. And that brings me directly to our secret. Actually, I believe we have four secrets. The first, second and fourth are God's sovereignty, God's mercy and God's faithfulness in no particular order. For your marriage to work out, you just have to have these on your side. The third secret? No, it's not love (and I will explain why in a moment). The third secret is Tenacity. Simple. Sheer knuckle down, gutsy tenacity driven by spiritual stubbornness. Pastor B calls it being ''godistic''.

A whole lot of christianese? Perhaps to you but to me, that is how come, after 19 years in the treacherous times we are living and the roller-coaster times my mgm and I have been through, and the range of emotions that have coursed through our veins, our home is still standing. If it were just about loving each other, hia? *clapping my hands as one does when the matter haf pass demt* Do you know how many times the evil coyote has huffed and puffed and tried to blow our house down? I promise you, love wantintin is not able to withstand such onslaughts. It's too light, too flimsy, too fickle. Only a deep agape love is strong enough and the honest truth is that none of us has gotten married with true deep agape love flowing in our hearts. Not one. That kind of love comes with a christian couple going through trials and tribulations and time. Plenty of time. Which from the look of things many couples don't want to give their marriages.

Neither did my mgm and I to be honest at the onset and over the years, there have been times, oh horrible times, when we just wanted to throw in the proverbial towel but we didn't or couldn't. It's as if we have been bound by some force that just won't let us give in. That is where all the other secrets comes in. If from the get go, God has ordained a thing, it must stand. God's sovereign will for my mgm and I was that we would meet, stay together till we got married, get married and stay married till the death! The day this became clear to me, I was like 'What! OK, then please kill me now!' Lol! Mercifully for me, God did not pay me any attention. He faithfully kept us till that storm passed away too. You see what I am trying to get across here? Before you get married, be sure of God's backing. Shine ya eye as we say over here. Cos once you are sure it is a 'God union', then, even when you fall in and out of ''human'' love in the early days of marriage (as I did), God will stand in the gap for you cos he must keep ''his thing''. I would not be here today celebrating close to 2 decades of marriage if this were not true in my life. I am so thrilled to see the enemy cowering in shame and defeat right now. My people, it pays to hold on.


That is what tenacity means. Holding on no matter what. Yes, I am not unaware of the horror stories about all manner of abuse and surely you know I am not asking anyone to remain in a situation where life is at risk. I am very vocal now about that. No more, stay, be patient and be praying while you are being beaten emotionally or physically to death. No my love, get yourself out of there to somewhere safe. I am not saying divorce him or her just ''divorce the space''. No body is going to tell me that it is God's will for you to stay in a place where your life is in danger and unless you tell me you heard God audibly ask you to do so and then invite me to your house and I hear it too, I am not budging. Get thee hence from said appurtenance situate with immediate effect and automatic alacrity! I mean it! Once you are in a safe place, then you can seek God again for your next steps. Only the living experience turn-around o!

I digressed a bit, didn't I? Oh well, you know me, random blogger that I am! All I am saying is  that giving up at the slightest problem is not the way. Marriage being God's idea will always be a target for the devil. You and I, married people, are just chess pieces to be honest. Thankfully, God is the Master of the Game. He always wins in the end. We just have to commit to the game. God will help us all. Anyway, though 19 years is no joke there are people out there who have stayed married for many more years and I hope my mgm and I will join those ranks too by God's grace. For now, I just want to brag on him for what he has done so far. 

For 19 years of his sovereign will over my marriage, decreeing that it will stand the tests it has been through so far. For 19 years of his mercy, that continues to say 'no' even when the enemy has come with plausible accusations against us. For 19 years of his faithfulness that heard us when we cried out to him for help to still the storms, that provided for us, that blessed us with our three wonderful children, awesome careers and businesses! Oh my! How Great is this our God! Thank you so much my PapaGod for being so wonderful to me!

So my people, the long and short of the matter is that, for the past 19 years, God has been the secret of our marriage.

Make him the secret of your lives.


*popping champagne* Here's to you my love, my mighty good man. Here's to the next 19 years of you building your brand and me believing it still. Regardless.

 



18 comments:

  1. Waoh! 19 years? Congratulations...I wish you 19 more...and then some more.

    I agree with u - the secrets to long lasting marriage (besides the obvious - love, trust, etc)- are tenacity, God, God, and more God.

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    1. Thank you so much JustDoyin. Appreciate you coming by. Yes o, its only God........

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  2. Aww, now I am gonna cry *sobs*
    Happy wedding anniversary to you and your husband. God will continue to keep you and your husband in Jesus name.
    The devil will not be able to come between you guys in Jesus name.
    You will grow old together and will see your children's children's children.

    God bless you and your family.

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    1. Ilola dear, thank you. No don't add your tears to the ones I have already shed today.....God is good. Amen my dear, amen to your prayers.
      Amen for me, amen for you.

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  3. Congratulations. May God keep your marriage.

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    1. Amen! And all that pertains to you too, may God keep it in Jesus name. Amen! God bless you Okeoghene. To God be all the glory. He is every True.

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  4. Happy anniversary! Even as God has kept you together thus far, He shall give you many many more joyful years together! Amen. 19yrs, wow!

    DrLily

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    1. Thank you so much DrLily! Amen in Jesus name!

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  5. Happy anniversary,19yrs whao! May the Lord continue his good works in your life and that of your mgm. Only God can do this. Congrats

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    1. Only God, Oge. Only God. I brag on his awesome name. Thank you. As you celebrate with me, so shall many celebrate with you in Jesus name. Amen!

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  6. Happy aniversary,may God continue his good works in your life and that of your husband. You r indeed blessed.

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    1. Amen ! Thank you Anonymous. And so are you. So are all of us who call God, PapaGod! To him be all the glory!

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  7. Sistadivine. Indeed God is the Lord and He changeth not, before the foundations of the earth, he brought you and your mgm together and by his grace, He will keep you both rock solid. nineteen years is no joke and i salute Baba God on behalf of you and your husband. may God continue to keep you through good times and challenging times, may your love for each other increase, may you both continue to provoke each other in love to fulfill your divine purpose in Jesus name amen. i speak Psalm 128, 91 and 121 over your lives in Jesus name amen. congrats. i raise my own imaginary champagne glass! lol. God bless the fruits of your marriage; your beautiful children.

    NB - My parents celebrated 40 years on the 28th of April...God has been faithful indeed, despite the evil coyote's huffing and puffing! lol. Thanks for that sobering but humorous illustration

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  8. 40 years! wow! That is something!!!!!! To God be the glory! Thank you my sisdivine. Amen! Amen! For you! For me! Amen in Jesus name!

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  9. Aaaawwwww... congratulations! I am so happy for you guys and what you have built together in the Lord. For as long as i can remember, i have been scared of marriage and even said that i am not sure i ever want to get married (not to my mother's hearing though, lol) but more and more i am reminded that it is about what is built on and in God that counts and that you so much for being another reminder.

    May the Lord continually bless your home!

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    Replies
    1. Amen Dosh. Thank you so much. We won't tell Mom you even thought of that! Lol! When God is the spine in our backs, he gives us courage which is that thing that gives us the chutzpah to do stuff in spite of our fears.
      When God sends, he enables.......The koko is that we just have to be in his will....not close to it. In it. Always. He will sort the rest out. Thank you Dosh. Always nice to see you here.......

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  10. diepriye samuel12 May 2012 at 11:19

    Congrats ma.......so happy for u! May the almighty do it for me too in Jesus name Amen........*sad face* u disappeared.....not fair.....rara!

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  11. OMGudness Diepriye, am not sure how come I am just seeing your comment. Happy New Year my dear!!!! I did go offline for a while but have been back for ages now...How are my people? I hope you come back and see this o!

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