Skip to main content


Featured post

Apparently, now, it is not IF, it is WHEN and it breaks my heart

Yes, such is the world we now live in. 
It is not a matter of IF your young child will be exposed to pornography in some form or the other, I understand it is now a matter of WHEN. This makes me so sad but thinking about it, I am not surprised. Just take a look around you. Everywhere you go, there is soft porn all over the place. Call me a prude but women dress almost half naked to church in the name of God sees my heart; you cannot watch the television for two hours straight without being assailed by some form of near nudity or the other; I doubt you can listen to the radio for one full day without something non PG-rated hitting you through the sound waves. Even some of the commercials are suggestive. And sadly, as I have just found out, even our school play grounds and corridors are filled with children who now think that "Porn is Fun".
* my heart breaks*
When my LBS was being bullied in his school, I approached the Head of School. He passed me to the Chairman of PTA (Don…
Recent posts

The Salt "Hooks Theory"

Is it me or does it feel like there is a conspiracy to kill one's joy going on around us? Sad news just seems to abound. To stay above it all, I keep saying to myself, over and over "My Jesus, you are my Joy and you are Bigger".
Functional Depression. That's what I call what has ailed me at different times in my life. Especially in my late 30s and early 40s. Now, I recognize the warning signs better and snuff them out before I am consumed. 
Functional Depression, according to Salt,  is the kind where on the inside you are in a dark place but on the outside you are all smiles and brightness. You can still do life and those around you have no clue because you are still functioning. 
If you've read any of my Diaries of a DNW and were paying attention, you'd have caught some shards of those times. 
What's funny is that until recently, I didn't even know that what I was going through was depression. I just thought I was really sad about some aspects of my…

He Always Leaves Room

It has been a pretty rough ride for me these past months but I can say, hand over heart,  that God always leaves room for thanksgiving. I cannot think of one single day where I did not have cause, in the midst of my grief, to praise God. And I actually believe that it is those times of gratitude that have saved my mind. Being able to find things to thank God for kept hopeless despair at bay. In this post, I just want to share some of the ways God has left me ‘room’ to thank him even in my darkest hours.
I remember getting the news of Sholly’s passing.  In those first crazy days, the one person I kept thinking about was my Papa, my Prof. How would he have felt? It was bad enough having to deal with my Aunty Silifa. Oh my, I cannot tell you how happy I was, even as the tears coursed down my face that he had passed two years earlier. How would I have consoled him? I sent up thanks to God for sparing my father such pain and grief.

Then God gave me another reason to be thankful when the…

I'm Not Strong

It's true. People think I am. But I really am not strong.  But I do belong to and serve a very Strong God who also happens to be my PapaGod. Part of my service to him is obedience. Because he loves me and to prove I love him too, I try to always choose obedience.  And to obey God, I can't obey the devil. And all the devil has been telling me to do is crumple up in a dark corner for the rest of my life. He uses different words but basically the same meaning: You will never find peace or really smile again so why bother? Just give in to the darkness within. Fall down in a heap of tears and give up. Roll over and stop fighting....and some days, the invitation does lure me....seems so much easier. 
But no, I refuse it! 
Not because I'm strong. 
But because I just want to obey God. Because I know him enough all by myself to understand that he loves me still.....and while not being able to call Sholly this evening or any other evening hurts like hell, that unquestionable love i…

Now, Healing Can Begin...

I had my doubts about how I would feel after the Service of Songs and the Celebration of my sister's Beautiful Life. I feared that not being given the chance to see her, hug her one last time and say my farewells would prevent my heart from accepting that it was time to allow healing begin. 
But I was wrong. Thank God.
Yes, thank you PapaGod for demonstrating how powerful celebrating and honoring our loved ones can be. You see, as deep as my hurt is; as broken as my heart is and as devastated as I am about Sholly passing what pained me even more was how she was treated in death. 
How Kuba could treat Sholly, a woman he claimed to love the way he did baffles me. I refuse with every fiber in me to believe that 'that's how the Polish people are'. No, an entire country can't be cold, selfish and heartless. There is something fundamentally wrong with Kuba and his family. And I want to believe there are some of his country people who have heard of this story and know de…

#JusticeForShola: In Case CNNiReport Does Not Pick My Story

What really happened to Oluwashola Atunrayo Gaska (nee Adefolalu)? 

Sholly, as she was fondly called by most, was a young, beautiful, bright and talented English Teacher, Photographer and budding Filmmaker living in a little Polish town with her husband, Jakub Gaska. 
The 36 year old Nigerian had gone to Poland to study Architecture and Interior Design at the Cracow University of Technology in Krakow, Poland in 2000. On graduation, she decided to make Poland her home. In 2010, she married Jakub and all seemed well with her until December 28, 2016 when her older sister, Bola 'Salt Essien-Nelson received a phone call from Jakub (Kuba) that 'there had been an accident; Sholly had fallen unconscious and had died'. The call was disconnected. When Kuba called back, the story appears to have changed as he now told Bola that Sholly had fallen sick on Dec 27 and had been taken to the hospital where she eventually passed on at 3a.m on Dec 28, 2016. How could this be? Sholly had just…

Sholly was Human and That's ALL that should matter!

Jesus, please give me strength!

What a world we live in. What does it matter if Sholly is Nigerian and/or Polish? One way or another, at least one country should be concerned. Why this back and forth? Why is her nationality so critical at this point?
She was human!!!!
And that's what should matter to both Governments! A human being has died under suspicious circumstances and we are asking you to CARE. For once. Please.
My tummy churns at the insinuations that Sholly married for 'paper'. What? As far as I know, you only have to live in Poland for 2/3 years to apply for citizenship. She'd lived there at least 8/9 years before she met and married Kuba. I think she could have sorted herself out if she wanted to.
And even if she did marry for papers, does that make it OK for all that has happened? I shake my head at some of the things I've heard from people who should know better.... and I just thank my stars that my hope and trust is in the Almighty God alone.

Let Your Love Be Wise - My Salt post on

I am on a journey that I know I will be on for the rest of my life. What I am doing right now is one step towards that destination that I know will be forever-shifting. The word ‘pain’ has lost its meaning to me. What I feel is an emotion there is no word for. Still, to that emotion I am feeling, I must give purpose. My sister will not die in vain. So, dear African sister of mine married to a non-African, please read this and act. In your action, by God’s grace, I will begin to find purpose to my loss. Please click here for the full post. If this makes sense to you, please share it far and wide. Especially with your sisters and friends married to non-Africans. This is me, trying to find some purpose to my pain. This is me trying to make sure my sister does not die for nothing. Help me. Please. Blessings!
#JusticeForSholly #FindingPurposeInMyPain