Thursday, 13 October 2016

Don’t Examine Self. Just keep it Crucified.

Now, let me just confess upfront. 

This was hard for me to swallow. I am the self-professed Queen of Self-Examination.  I felt that it was important to take good looks at myself, my walk and my talk from time to time to see how I was doing spiritually.  

But I have recently discovered that this activity is not paying me at all. And if truth be told, may be quite unscriptural. There are very few places in the Bible where we are asked to examine ourselves and none of them asks us to engage in the depression-triggering exercises that my idea of self-examination leads to. 

Self is not meant to be examined. Self, as in my ‘old man’ is meant to be crucified.  Period.
Do this today. Then repeat. daily.

Examining self, looking at it, staring at it, only makes me feel bad. I am not sure how come this has not occurred to me before. It is almost a no-brainer. When you spend your time looking at yourself and how badly you have been doing, one of two things happen. At least if you are me. You either sink into despair and depression or you vex and give up! At least for a while.  Again, this is if you are like me. Haven’t you ever said to yourself that ‘this hell, there will be plenty people there, let us just be going!’ You have not? Never?  

Wow! Well, I have sha. A number of times actually and I just thank God for his continued love and mercy over me.  So, as this new way of thinking slowly sinks into my head, I am seeing how it is the better way.  My PapaGod is not impressed by my self-examination. He just wants me to live led by his Spirit and I can only do that if I stop listening to my flesh. And I can only stop listening to my flesh by keeping it dead. dead. dead.

We cannot make self-better. Let's not even bother. Let's just kill it. 


That is what the Bible asks us to do. Put off the old man with all its sins. Don’t look at your old self. You are what you look at. You become what you stare at. That being the case, I am better off looking to and at Jesus Christ. The more I look at him, the more like him I shall become. Right?

And how do you keep you eyes on Christ? By gazing into the Word of God. Christ is, after all, the Word made Flesh, abi? So, there you have it! Let's anytime you feel tempted to study yourself and your past or current failings, repent and study the Word instead!

You know what? How about you click here to listen to me talking about this on my Salt Talks  page. 

It will be way more fun than reading. Lol! I play music and all that.

Seriously though, please hear me out on this. The devil seeks to keep us in bondage by being too self-involved with our pasts and our current realities. We must loose ourselves from this bondage. We must not allow anything or anyone keep us shackled down like that. OK?


Sunday, 2 October 2016

I met Udo Okonjo last night

I met Udo Okonjo last night and I learnt a few things from being with her. Let me share.

Oh, by the way, Happy Independence Day weekend and Happy Thanksgiving Sunday! We have much to be grateful for and I pray that you are able to see things through balanced lenses if you like. True, there is much that is wrong with our country but it could be worse. Plus, there is still much that is right. Like you being here, alive reading this right now. Like the fact that Nigeria is not Aleppo. Please send up prayers for every nation at war right now. Then send up thanks again, for Nigeria. Things could be way worse. PapaGod, thank you so much for sparing us such and please, in your mercy, continue to keep those kinds of trials away from us.

So, back to me meeting Udo Okonjo last night. As my MGM and I stepped into the venue and walked towards the first group of people, this lady more or less 'flew' towards me with arms outstretched ready to embrace me. I was so pleased to see her that in that instance, I forgot that we had never met. Maybe she thought we had. Maybe she thought she knew me. I don't care. All I know is that she hugged me like she did. 

Lesson 1. Udo Okonjo has no airs. She  was warm, gracious and inviting. Some people who have no reason to be aloof go around waiting for you to come pay obeisance. Not Udo Okonjo. Even when it became clear we had never met and that I just knew her from Facebook, nothing changed. She did not suddenly freeze me out. My kind of person. Pure class. 

Next thing I know, her phone is out and she is like come, "let's take a selfie" and I was like 'Hian'! You mean I did not have to beg for one. Wow! 

Lesson 2. Udo Okonjo is down to earth and friendly. We giggled and took selfies and giggled some more. She even taught me a new trick. How to take the photo using the clicker on the side of  my phone. I had no clue. Lol! Just because you are well known and a force to be reckoned with in your field does not mean you must cease to be kind, friendly and fun.

She was to give a small speech and she did it so well. So articulate and well spoken. I was helping her take photos with her phone as she spoke but still had time to be impressed. Then she comes back afterwards and jokingly alluded to the fact that she could not remember a word she had said. I was gobsmacked. What! "You were great I gushed". She laughed her thanks to me and then I got it.

Lesson 3: She was not afraid to show that she was human too. Udo Okonjo who has probably given a zillion speeches experiences nerves too. She walked up there all cool as a cucumber, all poised and confident but when she was done and came back to stand beside me, her words let me know that she had no issues sharing what we all ought to know: Fears do come; nerves are real but in this world, especially as women, we must learn to do it afraid. I liked her even more in that moment. She was real. She is tall but in that moment, she looked even taller to me. 

Isn't it funny how much you can learn from just spending an evening with someone. I doubt it was up to two hours but in that time, Udo Okonjo showed me the kind of person I always want to be.

Thank you so much Udo. I had fun in your company last night and I will remember it for sometime to come. I entrust you and yours to God for safe keeping. You are good peoples. You are light as we all who call ourselves Christians ought to be.

Dear reader, I wonder what people who have hung around you will learn.

Yes, I wonder what lessons can be learnt from being with you for 120 minutes.

Think about it.


Saturday, 17 September 2016

I am taking steps to move higher. Who wants to come with me?

Hello there! Welcome to a great day!

I have finally taken action to add works to my faith. I would like to invite you come with me.

See, I REALLY want to be a channel of blessing. I want to be able to help my Aunty Silifa and take care of my Grandma even more than I do right now.

I want to fix my Papa, my Prof's house . I understand it is in a bad state. It breaks my heart when I think about it.

But what can I do? Our resources cannot do it all!

Every night I pray to God to send help to my MGM so that his business can prosper. I am meant to be his helper, I want to help him too. I want to put smiles on people's faces and when they thank me, I tell them not to thank me  but to seek out the God that has enabled me. 

This and much more is what I want to do and this 2016 I have spent much time praying on it. Now, I am acting on it

Please read these two posts and when you are done. I hope you will join me.

With God, nothing shall be impossible for us.

Read this first: Salt is set to move and shake her world. and then read this one: Omowunmi Adefila's testimony

Are you coming with me?

Friday, 16 September 2016

Apparently, now, it is not IF, it is WHEN and it breaks my heart

Yes, such is the world we now live in. 

It is not a matter of IF your young child will be exposed to pornography in some form or the other, I understand it is now a matter of WHEN. This makes me so sad but thinking about it, I am not surprised. Just take a look around you. Everywhere you go, there is soft porn all over the place. Call me a prude but women dress almost half naked to church in the name of God sees my heart; you cannot watch the television for two hours straight without being assailed by some form of near nudity or the other; I doubt you can listen to the radio for one full day without something non PG-rated hitting you through the sound waves. Even some of the commercials are suggestive. And sadly, as I have just found out, even our school play grounds and corridors are filled with children who now think that "Porn is Fun".

* my heart breaks*

When my LBS was being bullied in his school, I approached the Head of School. He passed me to the Chairman of PTA (Don't ask me why) and the Chairman never returned my calls or kept his promises to connect. So, I am sad to say that I have given up on his school. I have no confidence in its desires to accept there is a problem that needs fixing. Ideally, I should take this new found discovery about 'porn' playing on the school playground to the Head of Secondary School, but I don't 'have their energy'. I prefer to just focus on calling on you instead. 

Yes, you, my co-Parents. We need to take steps to ensure the minds, souls and spirits of our children are preserved from this evil. We are the ones God has entrusted his children to. Not the schools.But how?  I am no expert but here are some commonsense steps I believe we must take NOW:

1. PRAY. Yes, start with God. We need wisdom. We need grace. We need discernment. Talking to God through this all has really helped me. There have been days I have been so upset with myself, blaming myself, back and forth and back and forth. Being able to go to God and seek peace and direction has really helped me. And I am happy to see that all he has directed me to do are all in line with what I have been reading online. Which is as it should be. God knows ALL. God knows BEST. So go to him first.

2. Pornography is propaganda and generates destructive myths about sexuality. That is why there are some children going around chanting 'Porn is Fun' to other innocent ones as young as 10 and waking up thoughts and feelings that have no business being awakened! So first and foremost, We must TALK TO OUR YOUNG CHILDREN ABOUT SEX. 

Can you honestly say that you have provided a comprehensive sex education that truly equips your child with the truth expounded in the Bible? We must do so in love! Setting proper foundations for understanding a Christian sexual ethic is a crucial step in protecting children from later sexual disorder. Frankly, no age is too young now. Have you been to parties lately? Do you see how some young children dance? Yes, if they can dance like that, then they can understand sex talk. 

I invite you to listen to this video. If you want a PDF copy of "Parenting the Internet Generation", that is being talked about in the video, please send an e-mail to me at I will send it to you. 

3.  Take steps to prevent the exposure as best you can. SCREEN EVERY FORM OF MEDIA to ensure you.  block out all  "triggers" that could serve as a gateway to exposure for your children. If the problem occurred with the Internet, a filter can be one of your strategies, although it can never replace parental supervision and involvement.

4. DO NOT ALLOW SOLITARY INTERNET USAGE. Children should only have access to the internet with adult supervision. Move the computer to the family room where others can easily view the screen and make sure they cannot use any of their other internet enabled devices alone. 

5. Be sure to SCREEN your child's friends. This might seem tough but unless you are 100% sure of the core values of a child's family, you must take steps to protect yours. Ask questions. Right now, I am not allowing my LBS visit anyone. They can come over to my house but he will not go to theirs UNTIL I am sure they are supervised during the entire visit. I can only control that in my home. 

6. PRAY. Yes, pray again! God is Love and everything we are to do above must be done in Love. Our children must understand that we are coming from a place of Love. You can only do so by spending time with Love Himself. I love this prayer at the end of the Chapter 1 of Parenting the Internet Generation and will close with it:

 Our Dear Fsther and MightyGod, we are venturing into enemy territory and so we ask you to
be our strength and our shield (Psalm 28:7). The enemy is fighting hard to claim
the hearts and minds of our kids through their technology. The Internet can be
such a huge blessing. We can spread the Good News of Jesus Christ like never

But, like anything that is good, we know that evil wants to twist and turn
it in a deadly direction. Lord, give us the wisdom and the perseverance to parent
well in this digital age. We know that we can’t do it without you. Bless us now in
the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!

And I say an even louder AMEN!!!!!!

Satan will not have our children! 

Monday, 12 September 2016

An Important Letter to all Parents (Or make your child a VAB)

Another school year is here!

It is so amazing to see my LBS starting a new year. I bet you are just as happy as I am and just as thankful to God for keeping your children throughout the last year too, right? 

But as I watched my LBS go off on that first day of his Year 8, I could not help the pang of anxiety that clutched my heart. Will he be bullied again? Will other students 'borrow' his pens and pencils by 'force'? I am all for sharing but why boys and girls just enjoying taking other people's stuff without there permission (please read stealing) for fun is beyond me!

I spoke to LBS about this and made him promise that IF the ugliness reared its head again, he would let me and his Papa know asap. Of course he laughed and reminded me that he was in Year 8 now! That it was only the Year 7s that got bullied. I was grateful he did not seem to be worried about it but as he walked away, the sadness lingered in my heart that there would still be some children in our schools who  would be bullied. But we can help reduce these numbers greatly. How?

That is the subject of this letter to you. Please read and please, please ACT.. 

Dear Mom and Dad:

I need a favour. I know you are busy so I'll try to keep this short. I promise. *smiling*

I'm seeking young people to take a stand against any form of bullying they witness in their schools and I need your help with educating your children about this scourge.

Bullying, especially verbal bullying or 'yabbing' is becoming so rampant in schools these days and I come to beg you to encourage your children to become a "VAB". What does that mean?  It means your child will be a: Voice Against  Bullying. 

Will you help me with this? 

Please just sit down with your children and explain what bullying is and have them promise not to be one. Bullying is mean and it's pushing our children into very sad places. Bullying goes beyond hitting or pushing. To help you, below are the types of bullying you must ask your children to look out for when they are in school:

Physical bullying:
Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone...or even just threatening to do it
Stealing, hiding, or ruining someone's things
Harassment, humiliation. Making someone do things he or she doesn't want to do.

Verbal bullying (In Schools, it's called "Yabbing")
Name-calling, Teasing, taunting
Insulting or otherwise verbally abusing someone

Relationship bullying (Girls are experts at this generally
Refusing to talk to someone 
Excluding someone from groups or activities
Spreading lies or rumors about someone

My dear parents, please explain to your children that while bullying may seem like fun, it is not.
Anything that hurts people's feelings is not funny.  Let them understand that some bullied children have gone on to harm themselves because of bullying? Some even kill themselves! As parents, we cannot sit by and let this happen? 

So please, explain to your children and make them promise that when ever they see bullying happening, they will SPEAK UP! 

Role play with them and show them how to intervene nicely. Show them how, if the bully does not stop, they must go tell a teacher. Or the Head boy or girl. Or the House Master or Mistress. 

And most of all, make them promise that if, God forbid, they become targets of a bully, they must tell you at once! Bullies win because bullied children stay silent. That has to stop! And that's why I'm sending you this letter. To seek your support. Let's get our children looking out for each other!

So dear Parent, are you with me? Will you get your child or children to be VABs? I can only thank you but I'm certain God will reward your care and concern for others big time.

Thank you so much! 

Tuesday, 6 September 2016


Dear One

Thank you for coming to my mental spa.

Boy, have I got a post for you to read!

This post is the truth.

It is so good I had, HAD to share the link here on my own blog!

Please, please click and read it.

You will thank me.

At least, you will thank yourself. And then thank its author,  Bianca Sparacino



Bianca? I Salt heart you for taking the time to put down such down right truths!

Stuff we all know, should know but always seem not to know!

People read and share. Read and share. I have done so across all my platforms!

We ALL need to know these things. Or remember them.


Friday, 2 September 2016

My voice is getting louder

No, it is not that I am shouting. Not at all. I just mean that God has just been opening up more channels for me to use to get my voice out there. For him.

It all started right here on this blog. I started blogging in 2009 and before you knew it books were being published! God helped me to birth five books between 2010 and 2012 and now, this year, came my latest baby Salt Talks, where my written 'voice' now talks. Find out more about that baby here.

But God was not through. He has now opened up a door for me into Pulse. When the invitation to become a Pulse blogger came I was surprised actually. I had to ask if they knew that I was a Christian Inspirational blogger.  Lol! They did and I accepted and I am so loving it. Do check out my August (We are the problem with Nigeria) and September (Nigeria's situation is not beyond prayers) posts and I am hoping when you are done reading, you will share it too. Thank you!

As I leave, I would like to ask you a question.

What is your voice? It could be writing, singing, counselling, teaching, cooking, fashion, drama, building businesses, anything. It really could be anything. Your voice is your talent and God gave each human being at least one. So, what's yours?

I hope you know what it is and that you are letting it speak.

Loud and proud to the glory of God!

And I know you do too.  Don't let anything
or anyone mute it.

(image courtesy of Google images)